


Hope

by Stargazer1116



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage, Ben has a big ‘ole soft spot for Rey the size of the universe, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy-duffy-bum-bum, Kylo Ren Redemption, My own happy little Reylo world, Protective Kylo Ren, Reylo - Freeform, Romantic Fluff, Semi-Canon Compliant, Star - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey, What? It could happen!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-01 10:51:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 44,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14518890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stargazer1116/pseuds/Stargazer1116
Summary: "That's how we're gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love."With the Resistance members at a shockingly low number and lack of resources, Leia struggles to see what the next steps are. An unexpected turn of events leads her to an suggest an unconventional offer of peace that will change the galaxy forever.This is my answer to how Rey would be responding to the onslaught of new thrown at her and feeling unsure about being wrong the first time with Ben, and what would happen to Ben with no Snoke in his mind. It is redemptive, romantic, slow fluff and my wish for post TLJ. This work is done and will be posted fairly quickly. Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments welcome! It's just fluffy...not a smut writer! You'll see! It's my first fiction...be gentle! Beta'd by Grammerly... ;)





	1. Confession

Thirty-One. The Resistance was reduced to the Thirty-One souls that escaped on the Falcon. Leia felt older than her years, which were already significant. The burden of responsibility was almost overwhelming. The weariness she felt sank deep into her bones. So much loss. Han. Luke. Amilyn. And, many other good people that believed in freedom for the galaxy from the dark side. How could they possibly re-group? She had not lost hope, but she was struggling to see the path to recovery let alone victory.

How could this little band of freedom-fighters take down the First Order? The future felt bleak. They were out of resources...out of ships….out of people….

The contrast of her thoughts to what she saw out her window was startling. Safely ensconced in an old Republic at the base of the purple Naboo mountains, the surroundings were peaceful and beautiful. She often thought of her mother that she never got to meet but knew plenty about. She wondered if she had ever been here. She knew that Padme had felt the burden to protect her people as well. She felt a kindred bond of sorts with her, heightened by being on her home planet.

“General?”

She turned and saw the biggest spark of hope they had. She held out her hand for her to join her on the couch in her quarters.

“Please, Rey...I insist...call me Leia. How are you doing? ”

The young woman sat down with a heavy sigh. Her shoulders bore more than one her age should have to. “Honestly...I feel numb. I don’t know what to think. So much has happened...I’ve only been away from Jakku for two months, but it feels like it’s been a lifetime.”

“Would it help make you feel better or worse to know that I feel the same way?”

That awarded her with a half-hearted smile from the girl. She grew quiet and started fidgeting with the hem of her vest.

Her voice was soft. “Leia...I need to tell you something. It’s something I don’t completely understand myself, and I might sound crazy, but I need to talk about this with someone. Will you promise not to overreact until you hear it all?

Leia’s warm brown eyes softened. She chuckled to herself, wondering what Rey could say that would be crazier than being the daughter of Darth Vader who married a smuggler and then bore the apprentice of Supreme Leader they were at war with. “I promise.”

Rey took a deep breath. She hesitated, then finally exhaled. “Leia...I have a force bond with Ben. It started when I was on Ahch-to. We can connect in our minds, but also have physical manifestations in each other’s presence. I can’t see what is around him, and he can’t see where I am or who I’m with...just me. At first, it was contentious--at least on my part. I would yell at him, call him a monster, and I even tried to shoot him the first time. It isn’t in either of our control--it is something the force has brought upon us without our consent. That brought a certain amount of resignation to it, and we fell into a bit of companionship with it.”

“Can he use this to find us?”

“No. I have been able to block details like the Resistance activity from him, just as he is able to block First Order business from me. And, as I said, we can’t see or hear each other’s surroundings. But, there is more.”

Leia reached out to hold Rey’s hand in comfort. She could see how difficult this was for her. “I come from a legacy of Force-users with strange experiences. I don’t think you are crazy yet.”

Her hazel eyes twinkled in amusement. “Through my time on the island, I learned the final straw in Ben’s turn to the dark side. Snoke had been in his head his whole life, whispering lies about all of you. Ben had been resisting, but the darkness was calling to him. He was starting to believe the lies that his parents abandoned him and that his Jedi master was jealous of his power. Luke sensed this. One night, he was standing over Ben in his sleep, feeling Snoke sift his mind, and he responded out of fear--for just a moment he thought he was too far gone and he thought he needed to be destroyed. Luke caught himself and turned the corner in his mind, but not before Ben woke up and saw him standing over him with his lightsaber engaged. Ben was still trying to resist the dark at that point, but it pushed him from the light.”

“That is why Ben attacked the academy.” It was a statement, not a question, from Leia.

“Yes. And that betrayal is what finally sent Ben into Snoke’s trap. But, Leia...I sense the light in him. He is cut to the bone struggling with the two sides of the Force warring in him. Especially since...Han. He doesn’t sleep and he is exhausted.”

Leia’s mouth went dry, and she struggled to keep the heavy emotion from her voice. “You think there is still hope?”

“I do...but I’m not done. In my final day on the island, I had a force vision that disturbed me. When I got back to my hut, Ben was there. I told him what happened, and he listened. Leia, he had transformed from my enemy to a confidant. I realized that in all the time I have known him, there is a gentleness in him with me that goes against what we all know of him. He is a monster, but he is a conflicted, lonely one. That night, we were able to touch hands through the bond, and when we did, I saw Ben’s future. I saw that he would turn from Snoke and stand with me. Luke came and found us--he just exploded not understanding what was happening and Ben was gone. I confronted him and asked for the truth about Ben, which he finally told me. I told him that Ben hadn’t yet decided and that there was good in him. I saw the hope in Luke’s eyes, but he just couldn’t believe. And, he wouldn’t come and help us, so I told him that turning Ben was our only hope. I left and went to see Ben on the Supremacy.”

“You what? Did you go to a First Order ship? Willingly?”

“Yes...I believed through the vision that I could turn Ben. It was foolish, but I truly thought I could. He was different than in our force bond moments. He seemed distant and distracted--like he was in deep thought. He cuffed me and took me to Snoke. Snoke dug into my mind and tortured me--he tried to turn me. He told us that he was the one who bridged our minds into the bond. When all of that didn’t work and I refused to turn, he ordered Ben to kill me--to kill his true enemy. Ben acted like he was going to...there was such resolve and confidence in his eyes. Then, just as I thought I would be breathing my last….he flicked his wrist and used the lightsaber on the arm of Snoke’s chair to kill him instead.”

“Snoke is dead?!?!”

“Yes...but there is more. He called Luke’s lightsaber to me, and we silently agreed to join together against the Praetorian Guards. We fought them together, almost at times moving as though were the same body. Now my enemy had become my ally. When the last of them were conquered...I thought it would be where he turned to renounce the first order and he would come home with me. But he didn’t. He told me to let it all die--the Resistance and the First Order, the Jedi and the Sith...all of it and forge a new way. My heart jumped in hope. He told me that when our minds were connected, he saw who my parents were---that they were nobodies and I was a nobody in this story--but not to him. He asked me to join him to rule the galaxy and create a new order. I didn’t understand...he was so close. He had just killed the Supreme Leader, whether for me or for him, and we fought together. My heart just sank...but there he stood with his hand outstretched. He even softly, pleadingly said, ‘Please.’ I thought about it but knew he still was tempted by the power and the dark. I couldn’t do that, even though it was ripping my heart out. So, I tried to grab Luke’s saber instead, but he tried to and we struggled with it dangling in the air, caught between us in the Force. Our pull was equal, so it exploded - that is how it broke. We were both thrown back and knocked unconscious from it. I came to first--Ben was still out. I gathered the pieces of the lightsaber. I tried to probe Ben’s mind--to get clarity on his intent, but he was shut down. I used Snoke’s shuttle to escape and rendezvoused with Chewie...that’s when we came to Crait and got you all.”

“Is there more?” Leia asked incredulously.

“No...or wait, there is. I had another force bond moment with him again, right before I raised the ramp of the Falcon. He was looking up at me with wounded, broken eyes. But I was angry and hurt. I exited the bond and shut the door. That was three days ago, and I haven’t bonded with him since. But, that last time was after Snoke died, so I don’t believe that it was his power who connected us or it would have died with him.”

“Well...this is a great deal to take him, Rey. I had no idea, obviously. Just hearing what you have told me...it sounds like there is something unique between you two. I guess there are enough similarities in the two of you that you can understand each other in a way no one else really can. The General in me should ask for you to use this connection to help us gain the advantage, but the mom in me doesn’t want you to jeopardize the fragile trust that my son has. It seems in all the universe, you are the only one he trusts. And, I wonder what this will mean to not have Snoke in his head. Does Ben want to continue the war? Really want to?”

She turned to Rey, squeezing her hands tightly. “Thank you for trusting me with this. I hope it brings you relief that you got it off your chest. I want to think on all of this for a bit. Would you give me some time to process it?” 

“Of course Leia. Thank you for listening and not immediately throwing me into the brig. I have some of the old ships I’m repairing in the hangar. I will go work on those.”

After the girl left, Leia turned back to the window and her perspective had shifted. While what Rey had shared was heavy, it also blossomed a tiny growth of hope. Maybe her son was not gone after all. If his heart that was open to another couldn’t be all dark...could it?  
________________________________

The more Leia considered what Rey had told her, two things arose in her mind. First, it was evident that Ben and Rey cared for each other. The depth of that was not immediately clear, but they had come to a place of mutual trust--crazy as that sounded. Second, the absence of Snoke left the future of the First Order wide open. She wasn’t sure if Snoke was a Sith or not, but he had extraordinary power and control through the dark side force of the Force, and his hold on the First Order was relentless. That influence was gone. He was not manipulating Ben’s head anymore. What would that mean?

Would Ben seek the same goals as Snoke? Rey said he told her to leave it all behind, including the First Order. Did he mean that? What would that mean for the war?

An idea was forming in Leia’s mind. It was just a thought, but it was quickly gaining purchase in her mind. A way to bring peace...and maybe...just maybe the redemption of her son….

________________________________

“Rey!”

“Finn!” She ran into his hug, savoring the embrace of her first friend. “Gosh...we haven’t been able to catch up for too long!” Her eyes teared up at the sight of him.

“I know. I just heard from others about Starkiller...what happened? When I saw you there, you were slumped in the snow while I fought Kylo. They told me that you fought him once I lost consciousness….and beat him. Is that true?”

Rey’s mind swam with all the events that had happened since she last talked to her friend. It was almost overwhelming all that they had missed of each other's activities. “I did fight him, I heard a voice in my mind telling me to kill him, but I couldn’t. Then a great crevice opened up and separated us. He was still conscious when I left him. I’m not sure what would have happened if we weren’t separated.”

“I am just so glad you got away from him. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from him.”

“I’m fine, Finn. I don’t need protecting.”

“True...I guess I needed YOU to protect ME!!” He broke away and started to trot off, turning around and jogging backward. “Hey, I’m on my way to see Rose in the Med Bay. Can we meet for dinner at the mess hall later? Catch up?”

“Absolutely. I look forward to it, friend. How is she doing? I can’t wait to meet her.”

She squeezed his hands. She was happy for her friend but knowing he had someone special felt strange to her. It was just one more emotion to deal with...and she was so very tired of dealing with her emotions. Just tired.

“Better everyday Rey, better every day. And, she is going to geek-out to meet you” and with that, he ran off.

Rey suddenly didn’t feel like working on the ships. She instead cut a detour to her quarters. When she opened the door, she thought again how it was the nicest place she had ever had. The bed was generous and soft, the small seating area was cozy with a window to the lovely outdoors, and she had her own fresher. Rey had never had such living luxuries to herself. At first, she slept on the floor. She just couldn’t get used to the soft bed. But she adjusted, and this morning she thought she never wanted to leave the sanctuary of her warm little bed.

She sat down on it now, finally alone with her thoughts. She felt relief to have confessed to Leia. She no longer carried the burden of the last few weeks alone, and that felt good. But now...now she felt drained. Rey had always worked hard from dusk to dawn, but right now she was pondering a nap. Such a lavishness she had never succumbed to, though her mind was arguing for the reprieve it would bring. She sighed and laid back, wondering what would come next for them all. 

Just before drifting off, her mind gently pushed, searching for the bond. She met the wall of steel on his side. SIlence.

She wanted to ask if he was Ok. She wanted to ask what was happening now. She wanted him to understand why she did what she did, and ask him why he chose what he did. 

She sighed and drifted off to sleep.

___________________________________

He heard her whispers just outside the gate he erected on his side of the bond. Was he OK? He mused that entirely depended on one’s definition of OK. The last few days had brought a measure of peace for Ben. For the first time in his life, Snoke was not in his head. But, in the same way, a long-time prisoner struggles what to do with his freedom, he was lost in it. He didn’t even know how to function almost. What did he even really think? Who was he? Ben had never been without another voice in his thoughts. What now?

He was floundering. He felt numb. He felt absence. The absence of a master. The absence of the pressure in his mind. The absence of rage. The absence of purpose. The absence of...her...

He wallowed in indecision. What was next? What does the First Order mean with Snoke gone? How would he lead?

For the time being, he decided to keep the status quo. He instructed Hux to look for the resistance. He listened to briefings about First Order projects going on. New ships, new troops...new weapons. He stopped everything that hadn’t been started, and just encouraged the completion of endeavors already in process. He said they needed to regroup their strategy and funding after losing Snoke and his ship. 

And Rey...what of Rey. She had rejected his offer and fled. He knew he did it poorly, looking back. He was in shock from the events that had just transpired. He wasn’t thinking clearly. Even if he was, he didn’t really know how to have that kind of conversation anyhow. He was hurt by her choice...but he understood why she didn’t want to join him. Part of the affection he felt for her was the light side of the force that naturally flowed from her. While he wanted her with him, he knew his offer of power was not appealing to her character. He wished he could go back...go back and find the words share his heart and take off the blasted glove.

He stood on the bridge, looking at that gloved hand gripping the railing in front of him. His shoulders sagged heavy under all that he now carried. He felt his general approaching before the door opened.

“Supreme Leader?”

“Yes Hux” his voice was low and tired.

“We have not yet located the rebels. We don’t see any evidence of the Millenium Falcon in transit, so we believe that they have found a hideaway for the moment. We will find them.”

Ben turned to look at Hux, and it was as if he was seeing him for the first time. All the sudden, he wondered where Snoke had found him. Was he feeling the same flailing in Snoke’s absence? How much was Snoke in his mind also? He felt a sense of pity for the man, having the presence of the former Supreme Leader without the force as an ally. It softened his usual curt response to the general.

“Very good, Hux. I appreciate your diligence. I know you will find them.”

He could tell his words and tone shocked the man. His eyes showed a sense of uncertainty and something else Ben couldn’t place.

“Thank you for your trust, Supreme Leader.”


	2. Suggestion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia has a vision and requests peace talks with the Supreme Leader.

Leia sat up in her bed. She could tell by the dusky light in the room that is was just after dawn. She had a dream that was so clear...really it was a vision. It left her shaken but comforted. She felt in her bones it was the force’s will, but she worried as a non-jedi force sensitive she wasn’t qualified to say. She wished not for the first time that Luke was there to confide in. But he wasn’t….she was on her own to lead her people the best she could. And, the vision was such a crazy idea, it might just work.

__________________________________

Rey was having an early breakfast with Finn and Poe. She was basking in the easy camaraderie and hot food. HOT FOOD! She woke up early, thinking that was possibly a side effect from her first nap ever the day before. But, more so she sensed something in the Force. Not really a disturbance, but some sort of activity in it that left her with the impression something important would happen today. She brushed the thought aside and focused on her friends when Connix found her.

“Rey, the general is asking for you to come see her after breakfast in her quarters.”

Rey sensed the importance. She quickly swallowed her last few bites and hugged the boys on her way out.

She had no idea what Leia wanted, but she had a premonition she would not leave this meeting the same.

___________________________________

Leia warmly welcomed her and motioned for her to have a seat on the couch they had sat on yesterday. Rey looked out at the serene landscape bathed in the pink morning light she had only seen on this beautiful planet. It soothed her questioning mind that wondered what Leia was up.

“Rey...I have something to ask you, but first I need to know something. Do you trust me?”

That surprised her. How could Leia think she didn’t trust her after pouring out her heart to her yesterday?

Seeing the confusion on her face, Leia continued. “I need to know, because I have an idea, but I need you to know that I love you and the Resistance, and I would never propose something that I think would hurt those I love.”

Rey swallowed a lump forming in her throat. “Leia, I trust you with my life. I know you would not want to harm me.”

“Rey, I have given careful thought to what you shared with me yesterday. Both the circumstances around the Force Bond, what we know about Luke’s involvement with Ben’s push to the dark side, and now the knowledge that Ben is in control of the First Order. Not only in control, but doing so without Snoke controlling and manipulating him. I believe we have a limited-time opening to achieve peace, but it will take quick action and an unexpected request. I believe that the force gave me a vision about this last night. Are you ready to hear it?”

Rey didn’t know what to say...so she just nodded.

“I would like to broker an alliance between the new leader and the resistance. I would like to build a bridge….in a way that has done many times throughout history to broker the end of a war. Specifically, I want to arrange a marriage.”

Rey felt the air suck out of her lungs. Her extremities felt tingly and in shock, but strangely in confirmation. This is what the force prepared her for. She found her voice. “You want me to marry Ben.”

Leia carefully looked at her face and cupped her cheek. “Rey, I think we have a chance here to change the course of the galaxy. I know you care for each other, and for some reason, the force has connected you. You both had visions of being at each other’s side. I believe that if he is joined to you permanently, it will draw him to the light and it will change how he leads. It will bring him balance. We can sow seeds of redemption in what the dark meant for harm. And because you at least share a friendship affection, I don’t believe it would be an unpleasant proposition.”

Rey just stared at her agape. “But Leia, why do you think he would agree to such an...arrangement?”

Leia looked at her lovely face and thought how innocent the girl in front of her was. It almost enough to change her mind in a flash of protection.

“Rey...from what you said, he pretty much already proposed to you. I think the man who became your confidant and destroyed his master to save you will agree to this. We can end the war and start to rebuild what was lost. As I considered it, I couldn’t get away from the idea that this could be the inverse of Padme and Anakin. Their forbidden love is part of what drove him to the dark. Ben is already part of the dark side. Perhaps an unforbidden relationship with you can be what draws him back to the light. 

Rey’s mind was swimming. She needed air. “Leia--may I have time to think about it? I’d like to go to the lake and meditate.”

“Absolutely. I want you to be confident in your choice. And Rey...it is your choice. I will not force you to do something like this. Search your heart and consult the force. Let me know as soon as you are ready. But if we are going to do this, I sense that the window of opportunity is short.”

_______________________________________

Rey ran. She ran and walked and stumbled the couple of miles to the lake she saw as they flew into Naboo. When she finally got there, her breaths came out in heavy pants and she leaned forward and placed her hands on her knees to steady herself. She felt like the ground had shifted under her. Not the actual peaceful soil of Naboo, but the ground in her mind of all she knew. She had a sense of vertigo in her existence. 

Marry Ben? Could she? Would she? Did she want to? Ben, the murderous Kylo Ren? A being so dark he could murder his own father? Who knew how many had suffered at his hands?

She could not deny that she cared for him and she felt the connection with him that no one else could understand. She could see the wisdom of Leia’s reasoning...but this was her life. This wasn’t like flying into a battle risking her life for her friends...for the galaxy. This wasn’t a moment of bravery--it was a lifetime of commitment. 

Her thoughts turned to Ben. From the moment she met him, there had been something there between them. Maybe it was the Bond. “Don’t be afraid...I feel it too.” Though in the beginning he scared her and she thought she hated him, she knew that was the fear that welled up. Looking back, he was always careful with her. He didn’t let the stormtroopers drag her off for questioning, he carried her--at least that is what Chewie told her. Even when he was interrogating her, trying to get the map from her, he was gentle. She knew after Snoke what a violent mind sifting felt like, and she had heard from Poe what his interrogation with Ben was like. And in the early days of the force bond, she was angry and he was always calm and careful with her. She thought back to the throne room...to his pleading eyes and the soft, “Please.”

That “please” had tugged at her heart. She had decided to reject his offer before, but that had almost gotten her in the end. She wasn’t wholly sure of all he was offering to her at that moment, but part of her wanted to say yes. 

Her eyes sought out the calm waters in front of her, and she allowed her mind to still and fall in line with the force. She sought out the light and let it wash over her questions. She focused on peace, clarity, and truth. The ribbons of light wove into her mind and lightened the load it held. The force didn’t give her a specific answer. No...rather...it pushed impressions back at her. The bond moments, the light she sensed in Ben, the vulnerability he had shown her that night in the hut, and the torment he embodied with the dark and light sides of the force warring in his soul. She knew her presence offered light, and with her by his side, maybe the light would call him home. She remembered what they said to each other...that they weren’t alone. Wouldn’t becoming his wife ensure that to be true? That neither of them would be alone again?

She sat on the ground, feeling less tormented, but not settled. She noticed for the first time across the lake that there was a large, beautiful estate. She couldn’t see detail from this far, for it was a large lake, but she could see the lightness of it. To her right, there were lush waterfalls that fed the lake, and to her left a stream running out of the lake to the sea. Rey had never imagined in her desert-reared mind that such a place of beauty existed. She never wanted to leave. 

Her mediation continued for a couple of hours. Finally, her hunger pains drew her back to the base. She felt like she needed to talk to Leia again--to ask some questions. Then she would be ready to make her choice.

________________________________________

After her late lunch, Rey sought out Leia again but wasn’t alone. She was looking at the progress they were making on the old shuttles they had found there. When she saw Rey coming, she quickly excused herself and motioned to follow her to her quarters.

Once they were inside, Rey couldn’t wait. “Leia...I have questions.”

She answered with a gentle smile, “I would be worried if you didn’t.”

“First, how quickly would you want all of this to take place? Are you planning to communicate with him? Then what? Would you negotiate by comms? Would you try to meet? Where would I live? I can’t live on a First Order ship--I would wither and die. What if he says no? What if he says yes?”

“That is a lot of questions. I will do my best here, dear. I want to contact them as soon as possible and request a meeting to negotiate peace. I think that communicating in person is best. I would likely set up a meeting at my mother’s estate across the lake and keep the base dark. They wouldn’t expect a meeting to take place close to our hideout. I think it would buy some safety for the rest of the Resistance.” 

Leia paused when she saw the strange look on her face. “Rey...are you OK? What is it?”

“Did you say your mother’s estate across the lake? The large, beautiful place close to the waterfalls? That’s yours?”

“Yes...that property has been in our family for generations. In fact, it’s the answer to one of your questions. I would like to negotiate that you live there. It is opulent enough for the wife of the Supreme Leader...or whatever he is now, but it’s history with Padme and the light side of the Force would be soothing to him. It’s also close enough to Coruscant, which is convenient politically for him.” 

She saw the smile on Rey’s face at that, so she proceeded. “I would not let you do this if it meant you were on that ship. It’s not a place for you, or any family that may come.” 

Rey blushed to the roots of her hair over this. “Leia, I’m not sure this would be that kind of marriage.”

Leia snorted and wryly said, “My son has too much of his father in him for that to be true. This unconventional start may mean a slow start to your marriage, but my son is no fool, and there is no way he could resist falling in love with you...if he hasn't already.”

Rey wasn’t sure what to say about that. She didn’t know much about what happened between a husband and wife. Her’s was a lonely life on Jakku. There were women there that were too friendly to visiting traders and smugglers, and she got the impression they were scandalous. She heard comments that made her blush, but true knowledge was limited. She didn’t want to filter what she knew in front of Leia...the general….his mother!

“As far as when...the answer is quick. I want this to happen while Ben is still figuring out who he is now without Snoke’s influence. I’d like to suggest that the wedding take place one week after negotiations. We can do it at the estate, and you could use the family cottage by the sea for a honeymoon. Getting him away from everyone alone will be important. The sooner we can do that, the better.”

Rey weighed all of this in her mind. She remembered her early morning wake-up from the force, warning her today would be significant. She was cognizant that this decision affected everyone. She wanted to be wise. But, there was a part of her that never wanted to be alone, and she saw this as a balm to her and Ben’s lonely souls. What could he become with friendship and comfort instead of torture and manipulation?

“I will do it. I am willing if he is. Set it up as soon as you are able.”

Leia squeezed her tight and whispered in her ear, “You know, it has not been lost on me that with this, you will be my daughter. I would be lying if I said that didn’t sweeten the deal for me.”

Rey gave her a shaky smile. A daughter...her. Someone wanted to be, was excited to be, her kin. She quelled any excitement about this until it was done. But the little girl from Jakku in Rey’s soul had hope in her eyes.

_____________________________

Hux entered Ben’s office unexpectedly. He was annoyed, but for once he tried to keep the irritation from his voice.

“Yes, Hux.”

“Sir...we have received an...interesting communique. Through an untraceable channel, we have received a request for you to participate in a meeting to negotiate peace with the Resistance. If you agree, it is to be in three days--Friday--on Naboo at your family’s ancestral home.”

Ben tried to school his features to not show his surprise. He went for confusion instead.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Here...here is the transcription of the message. Would you like a moment?” 

Ben read it, though the black and white certainty on the hologram still left questions in his mind. 

“Um...yes. But first, Hux--I would like to ask you a question.”

“Of course.”

“What is your reaction to this?”

His face went blank. “You are asking my opinion?”

“I am. I would like to hear your thoughts.”

Hux was quite sure that the former and current Supreme Leader had never asked for his opinion about anything. He relished that what he thought seemed to be wanted now. “Well...my first response was that this must be a trap. If they could destroy the new leader of the first order so quickly after losing Snoke, they may think that brings them an advantage. But, then I considered that your moth-...rather...General Organa is the leader requesting this meeting, so that seemed unlikely. Possible...but not probable. So, that has mostly left me curious as to what they are up to.”

Ben thought for a moment, looking out the portal like he was looking for an answer in the stars beyond it. He resolved and quickly looked back. “Me too. Please respond in the affirmative.”

Hux just stood there with his mouth hanging open. The Supreme Leader had just asked for his advice and then took it. This was new territory for Armitage Hux, and he wasn’t sure how to navigate it.

“As you wish, your Excellency.”

“Thank you Hux.”

The general quickly left, giving the order for a response. His eyes shifted back down the hall towards the room he had just left. He was flummoxed at the attitude of their new leader...he just didn’t know what to make of it. But, with just the slightest twitch of a smile, he acknowledged to no one but himself that he liked it.

__________________________________

Leia found Rey in the hangar after dinner. “Rey - we have a response. We need to talk.”

Was it just a few hours ago she had given Leia her answer? And he answered already? She tried not to panic. Things were moving fast. She wiped the grease off of her hands and followed the small woman.

Leia suddenly turned and looked her up and down. “On second thought, it would be better for you to get cleaned up first. Can you be at my quarters in 30 minutes?”

Rey took in her dirty, greasy appearance from working on the cruiser all late afternoon/evening and giggled. “Of course Leia. I will be there as soon as possible.”

Rey ran to her quarters, grateful not for the first time to have more than one change of clothes. She first went to the fresher and allowed the hot water to wash off the grime of the day as well as knead the stress away. She still marveled how wasteful it felt to wash with water, but it was obvious that Naboo had plenty of it so she relished in the sensation of the warm stream. She quickly dried off and dressed in her beige tunic and leggings with the grey vest on top. Since Ach-to, she favored the simpler style of a single bun or the top half pulled back with the rest loose about her shoulders. Since it was still so wet, she opted for the former style. She was just about to race out the door when she felt the silence that came with the bond.

“Where are you running off to, Scavenger?” Though he knew the name she disliked, it was missing the normal condescending tone - it was almost said like a caress.

Rey immediately threw-up her mental shields, praying it wasn’t too late, as she turned to face him. He looked different. He was in a simple, loose steel grey shirt and black fitted pants. She had never seen him in anything but black, and while the grey was close, it was just enough to make him appear different. He looked more refreshed and relaxed than she had ever seen him. She swallowed and found her voice.

“What do you want? I have a meeting with your mother in a few minutes.”

“I won’t keep you long. I received a very interesting message today. Do you know anything about that?”

“Yes”

“What is this meeting about?”

She reinforced those shields, praying again that her overwhelming thought life about this meeting was not coming through the bond.

“You know I can’t tell you anything, Ben.”

“Is it a trap?”

The shock and sincerity in her eyes were reassuring. “No Ben, it definitely isn’t a trap.”

“Will you be there?”

“I’m not sure. The general hasn’t given any assignments yet.”

“Someday, I would like you and me to talk about what happened on the Destroyer, but this isn’t the time.” He turned business-like. “Perhaps I will see you Friday, Rey.”

And he was gone.

Rey ran the whole way to Leia’s apartment.

____________________________________

She knocked on the door, out of breath. Kaydel Connix opened the door and smiled. “Hi Rey...the general is expecting you.” She opened the door, and Leia saw boxes everywhere.

“General--Leia, what is going on? Are you moving?”

She laughed and waved her hand to come over. “No, no...silly girl. This is phase two of our plan--operation make Rey irresistible. Not that you need much help, dear, but we want to stack our deck.” she said with a chuckle punctuated by a cough.

Rey’s aghast look only encouraged Leia.

“I have brought Lieutenant Connix into the circle of need-to-know as my assistant. There are things that need to be done that I trust only her to do. For example, this afternoon she went on a little reconnaissance mission to the estate to bring over some….secret weapons.” 

At that, Leia gestured to the boxes around the room. As Rey looked inside, she saw different shades of what looked like, material?

“Leia--what is all of this.”

“Dresses….lots and lots of dresses, my dear. You, Connix and Poe will sit with me in the negotiations on Friday. We need a reserved, elegant dress for that day, and I daresay we may even find a wedding dress in here since we wouldn’t have much time to find one elsewhere!”

Rey’s eyes flew to Connix, who just serenely smiled at her. “Rey, I’ve known the general and Ben my whole life. I trust Leia implicitly, and there is a chance this can bring Ben back to himself along with peace in the galaxy, I’m all in.” She rubbed her arm reassuringly.

Leia clapped her hands. “Ok girls...what should she try on first?”

Padmé had a wide variety of fashion tastes, bordering from the avant-garde and outrageous to classic and timeless. As they sorted through them, they made two piles before casting the rejects back into the boxes. There was a meeting pile and a wedding pile. Rey was completely overwhelmed. She couldn’t imagine one person owning all of these clothes. There were enough dresses to keep a small army of women clothed several days of the week. She tried them all on while Leia and Connix piped in with their thoughts. They were all amazed and grateful for how well they fit since with the short amount of time they had, alterations weren’t an option.

Finally, they were down to a midnight blue silk or dark mossy green velvet for Friday, and a white flowy or soft aqua ruffled gown for a wedding if there was to be one. 

“Well, which ones do you like the best? You have to wear them--what do you think?”

Rey looked at the choices before her. She had no frame of reference about how to make fashion choices. In the end, she chose the green for Friday because it reminded her of the forest and the aqua frothy ruffles because it made her think of the waterfalls. Leia and Connix voiced their approval. 

Rey held up the mossy dress in the mirror, allowing her fingers to rub the nap of the velvet. She had never felt such a fabric. She didn’t know any other textile existed besides the gauzy ones used on her home planet and the rough canvas of the resistance uniforms. It was soft and rich and just invited her fingers to brush the threads back and forth. It was so soothing...who knew fabric could do that? 

“OK ladies...we are going to need to loop in Poe tomorrow. He’s going to need a day or two to cool off. We need to prepare ourselves that he is not going to like this. But, aside from Poe, no one else in the Resistance will find out until negotiations are over. I don’t want Rey having to deal with any backlash until we know the course is set. Agreed?”

Both ladies nodded and started to fold up the dresses. Leia motioned for them to stop. “Three-p-o will take care of those. He lives for things like that. Why don’t you gals head back and get some sleep--it’s pretty late. You are going to need your rest.”

The left in agreement, leaving Leia in the center of the fabric tsunami. She picked up the dress Rey chose for the wedding and gently held it to her in an embrace. “Mama...you would have liked her. I am sure of it. I wish you could be here. I think she’s going to save Ben.”

_________________________________

Back in the safety of her little nest, Rey thought back over the day. Because of the early morning, and now the late hour, she was indeed tired. But, her mind couldn’t stop sifting through the incredible events of the day. The force prompt this morning, Leia’s request, her time of solitude at the lake, and last a literal fashion show. Who could have predicted all of that at the start of the day, even with the force? Soon the weight of it crashed in on her and she struggled to keep her eyes open. Her last conscious thought was, “Please force, help me know I made the right choice.”


	3. Proposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a Reylo reunion...with a few others...

“YOU WANT HER TO WHAT?!?!” Rey and Connix could hear Poe yelling from Leia’s office. They had been in there for a while already, and the yelling went on for twenty more minutes. Thankfully, no one else was around. The volume reduced, they were sure of Leia’s reprimand to lower his voice. They were behind the closed door for about 10 more minutes before Leia opened the door.

“Rey, would you please join us? Connix - stay close. I will need you soon.”

Leia shut the door after she entered. Rey’s eyes immediately went to Poe. They hadn’t known each other that long, but they had fallen into an easy friendship. It was hard not to with Poe. He was flushed and looked angry. Once he saw Rey, he stalked over to her and grabbed her shoulders.

“Ace--are you really thinking of doing this? It is madness!”

Rey reached up to her shoulders and took his hands, lowering them while still holding onto them at their sides. “Poe, I agree with Leia. This is a unique chance we have to bring lasting peace.” She turned to Leia, “Did you tell him about the bond?”

He answered for her. “She told me some Force mumbo-jumbo about you having a connection to him, but can’t you just shut it off? Does it mean you have to go and marry a murderer?”

She gently rubbed circles over his thumbs. “Poe...this isn’t something either of us can disconnect. The force has willed through the bond and in visions that me, Ben, and Leia have all had that our fate is to be together. We think we can take what we know will happen anyway and help the timing be such to bring safety to everyone. Consider this my lone jump to face the dreadnaught in my tie-fighter.”

“That’s different Rey! I wasn’t chaining myself to someone in the First Order for the REST OF MY LIFE!”

Leia spoke up. “Poe - open your eyes. There is a natural relationship that can bring peace. This is a peace that we can’t make it any other way right now. We have thirty-one….members left in the resistance. We lost fifty that day of the bombing, then another 60 in the escape to Crait. Our calls for help have gone unheeded. We are out of resources. We have a chance to do something significant to impact the future rather than sit around and wait to get pegged off as soon as Hux finds us.”

Poe slumped his shoulders in defeat and released Rey’s hands. “I care about you Ace. I don’t want you hurt by that monster.”

She reached over to hug him, “I know Poe. Thank you for caring enough to be upset. Besides, the two times we have fought or struggled, I won. I can take care of myself.” She teased, but then thought better of it. She drew back and looked him dead in the eyes. “Poe - I know Ben won’t hurt me. He killed Snoke to protect me. The bond makes it so if he hurt me, it would hurt him. But I know he won’t. He could have taken advantage of or damaged me several times, but he chose not to. I’m going to be ok.”

Poe grabbed her neck and pulled her forward so they were looking right in each other’s eyes. “He better not...or he will have me and Finn to deal with. I’m still not OK with this...but I will support you, Rey.” And with that, he placed a kiss on her forehead and released her. He turned to Leia.

“So, what is the plan boss lady? Oh...and I’m not going to be the one to tell Finn.”

___________________________________

The next few days passed in a flurry of preparations. The four of them that would be present at the negotiations moved to the estate to get things ready, along with C3PO, R2D2, and BB-8. Leia assigned Rey an extravagant room that overlooked the lake. It was decorated in soothing greens and blues that seemed to reflect the water below. Rey didn’t know what to do with herself and she never imagined a room like that existed. They had brought the selected dresses, along with some of the other simpler ones just in case. Leia and Connix helped Rey one afternoon experiment with different hairstyles, but in the end, decided to go with her half-up style for Friday. The dress already felt like a stretch for her--she didn’t want to push it. They also found her some underthings besides the breast-bindings and unisex underwear she always wore. She started to protest, but Leia reminded her that if all of this happened, she would be a ruler’s wife and it was time for an unmentionables upgrade. Secretly, she loved it all and she had never felt so feminine.

She hadn’t felt Ben for a few days. She wondered if he was still hurt, or if it was because of the meeting tomorrow. Tomorrow...she would find out if her life would drastically change, and she struggled to get her emotional footing around it. She wondered if Ben could feel any anxiety seeping through.

That night she tried to meditate to help her sleep. She failed miserably, so she quietly padded out to the balcony to sit in a large lounge chair that overlooked the lake. Somehow seeing the water always calmed her, but the moonlight reflected in silver off the surface was mesmerizing. She snuggled under a blanket, her soul at rest, and finally, her body caught up as well.

__________________________________________________

Ben readied himself for the meeting. He was given the option of bringing three people into the negotiations. He chose just himself and Hux. He really didn’t have anyone else he even partially trusted, and he could count on Hux to look at things objectively. The two of them were on Ben’s Upsilon Shuttle, heading to the meeting. Ben started to lose himself in memories of the last time he was in Naboo. It was a long time ago, before the academy. He was looking forward to seeing the beauty it held again. And some of that was the landscape.

He looked over at his chosen companion and again wondered where he came from. So he asked, “Hux. We have known each other for a long time, but I don’t think I know your background. Where did Snoke find you?”

The red-haired man was starting to get used to feeling off-kilter with his new leader, so his questions and responses no longer surprised him. “My father was one of Snoke’s generals, a cruel man, and my mother was a faceless peasant. I was raised by him and my stepmother, but I was a difficult boy--I’m sure that is no surprise to you. So, at twelve years old, they shipped me off to the First Order military academy on Arkanis. As you know, stormtroopers need to have a more compliant demeanor, but that makes it difficult to bring up leaders. The academy allowed for this. I never went back home. Snoke found me there at eighteen, and I moved up through the ranks of the First Order over the years. That was 10 years ago.”

Ben considered him thoughtfully. “It is interesting that both of us were sent away from parents who didn’t know what to do with us. Perhaps we have more in common than we thought.”

“You were as well?”

“At ten years old, my parents sent me to my Uncle Luke’s Jedi academy. The force was getting stronger in me, and they didn’t know how to handle it. I accidentally hurt a friend while playing, and that was the last straw for them. They promised to visit, and I went home at times. Eventually, over the years those visits grew further and further apart. My mother was more and more involved in the Senate, and my father was always gone. I know as they saw the dark side growing it was harder to see, so they just stopped coming. Snoke convinced me it was that they didn’t care...I think I see now that they were just scared.”

“Well...I guess we are more similar than we thought.”

“I guess so.” Ben was deep in thought. “Hey, if you weren’t the General of the First Order army, what would you want to do?”

“What would I want to do sir?”

“Yeah - what if there was no war. What would you want to do?”

Hux was silent for a while. Finally, he softly said, “Politics. I think I would be good at it. I enjoy strategy and notice things most people miss.” He turned to Ben, “And you sir? What if you weren’t the Supreme Leader? What about you?” It was a bold question he would not have asked weeks ago, but the timbre of their relationship was different now.

Now it was Ben’s turn to ruminate. “My father would have made me a smuggler, and I could have done OK at that. My mother would have made me a politician, but that doesn’t fit either. But...I’m not sure. What would we do if not stoke the machine of war? Snoke didn’t leave much room to think of anything else, did he?”

The sensor indicating they were coming out of lightspeed sounded, and Ben laid his eyes on Naboo for the first time in over twenty years. They were 20 minutes from their ETA. He murmured to himself, “What do you have up your sleeve, Leia? What are we walking into?”

_______________________________

Rey was nervous. Her mouth kept going dry, so she kept drinking water. Then, because she drank so much water, she had to keep running the fresher. For the first time she could ever remember, she couldn’t eat breakfast. She had never willingly passed up a meal, but her stomach was in knots.

“Rey - they should be here in 10 minutes. Are you ready?” Connix gently asked her?”

She felt like a trapped animal. She agreed to this, even wanted at times to do this. She realized this morning that her fear stemmed from the possibility of rejection. Last time she had refused. What if he did this time? How would she ever face him in the bond if this didn’t go well? Stars...she rubbed her hands on the knap of her dress, which acted as a calming activity for her. She darted to the fresher one last time. As she washed her hands, her eyes caught her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were bright, and her cheeks were flushed. She looked embarrassed and nothing had happened yet. She willed herself to take a calm, deep breath and exited the small room.

She heard two masculine voices that weren’t there before, and as she carefully made her way down the hall in her skirts, she saw him. When their eyes met, she faltered and had to remind herself to keep moving. She saw him take in her appearance inquisitively. Luckily, Leia, and Connix had also donned gowns for the occasion, so she didn’t appear odd. But, Ben had never seen her in anything remotely feminine, and it looked like his face was wrestling with that fact.

Leia called out to everyone to join her in the formal dining room where the negotiations would take place. Leia had arranged for the six of them to be dispersed throughout the smaller table in the room. She and Rey were at the two ends, with Poe and Connix on one side and Hux and Ben on the other...with Ben next to Rey.

Leia began, “Thank you to the Supreme Leader and General Hux for agreeing to meet with us today. The war has waged for many years at the same impasse. You chase us, we blow-up your big ship, yadda yadda yadda. We could do this for an eternity, but I would like to propose that with a new leader comes a new opportunity. I would like to suggest a treaty of peace between the First Order and the Resistance. You will stop targeting us and our bases, and we will stop finding that one little weakness in your big ships.”

Ben wasn’t sure what to make of this. His heart was still conflicted just seeing his mother and Rey in the same room again. He spoke with authority but avoided the eyes that looked like his. “General, it is clear that currently, the First Order has the upper hand. We know your fleet has dwindled. What benefit is there to us to reach such an agreement. And besides, how is either side to trust the other will keep up their end of the bargain?”

Leia looked her son in the eyes for the first time. “The wisdom we learn from history would show us that it only takes a spark to bring an empire down. Whether that is a fatherless boy from Dantooine, a boy hidden from his father on Tatooine, a redeemed Sith, a princess from Alderaan or an abandoned girl from the Jakkuu desert--danger lurks in unexpected places for the Empire...or First Order...or whatever you call yourselves these days. It’s all the same, and it’s all cyclical. Imagine what the First Order could do if all those resources you put into chasing us were put into commerce instead. What would be the possibilities for us all if we weren’t only focused on war.”

Ben flashed a glance at Hux to see if the irony of this harmonizing with their conversation on the way over registered with him. He took his smirk and sudden attention to a speck of lint on his pants to be affirmative.

He was surprised at the ease he felt talking to Leia. “That may be true, General Organa-Solo (he faltered a bit getting Solo out), but how would there ever be trust that the other side would keep their side of the bargain?”

Leia leaned in with a look of mirth on her face. “I’m so glad you asked that, your Excellency. I believe I have a solution to that too. I propose a joining between the Resistance and the First Order.”

“A joining? Like a merger?”

“No...like a marriage.”

Ben’s face finally snapped up to her, confusion filling his countenance.

“A marriage?”

“Yes, Be-….Supreme Leader. A marriage.”

“I see. And whom are you proposing to marry off?”

“Well...you.”

“ME?! And just who are you suggesting for my betrothed? Poe isn’t my type. No offense, Commander Dameron.”

“None taken, Supreme Leader. And...likewise.” Poe’s eyes side-glanced to Connix, and she quickly looked down as her neck flushed. Rey caught that in surprise and made a note to ask her about it later.

Leia looked at Ben deeply, purposefully holding his gaze. She had his attention, and she wanted to see every nuance of his reaction. Finally, she simply said, “Rey.”

In the few seconds, she held her son's eyes she saw shades of surprise, hope, and then doubt pass. Just as she suspected. His eyes cast down to his lap. It appeared to almost be in a bit of pain when he said, “Our last interaction informs me she would not agree to such an arrangement.”

He felt like he couldn’t breathe. The girl in question was close enough for him to reach out and touch...for real….in person, but she had rejected him. When he offered her everything, she went for the lightsaber and battled with him for the weapon that they tore apart.

Leia started to talk, but Rey softly spoke out, “I agreed to the terms, Ben.”

His eyes finally turned to her...the same look in on his face as that first time in the force connection. When he’d said, “just you.” She registered the same things Leia had just seen.

His mind was reeling, trying to process what he just heard.

“But you said no.”

“Well, actually...I didn’t say no...I just didn’t say yes.” Then neither of them spoke--just stared at each other.

Leia took advantage of the silence to suggest the lunch break in their negotiations. She led Hux to the veranda, and Connix and Poe quickly followed. On his way out, Poe gently squeezed Rey’s shoulder in solidarity.

When the door closed, Ben turned to her, the shock still registering in his features. “You just didn’t say yes? You cried, asked me not to go that way and went for the saber. We battled for it. You were trying to kill me.” His voice still held the anger from that day.

Her voice was gentle. “Ben...you know I wasn’t trying to kill you. But at that moment, when you asked me to join you, you were yelling and you were cold. It looked like you just wanted power, and joining with the other most powerful force-user in the universe seemed like a pretty good way to get it. You were a far cry from the vulnerable guy that just the night before had taken my hand...without your gloves….and told me I wasn’t alone. In the throne room, you weren’t offering what we are suggesting.”

He knew it was the gloves. Ben was back. “What exactly are you suggesting, Rey? A real marriage? With all that comes with it?”

The weight of his question made her look away as her skin flushed. She seemed to be doing that a lot these days. She exhaled, “When Leia first asked me about this, I was scared, to be frank. But, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Ben, no one else in all the worlds can understand you as I do, and we have this bond where the Force keeps trying to push us together. There are the visions we had of standing together--Leia just had one too. But, for me the clincher is that this is a way we truly never would be alone...we can keep our promise to each other we made in the hut.” She punctuated the last statement by gently placing her hand on his.

His eyes lowered to their now joined hands. He flipped his so they were palm to palm, curling his fingers around hers. It just felt right.

Rey lifted her eyes to his. “I don’t want to be Mrs. Ruler of the universe, but I think I can be Mrs. Solo.”

Ben weighed her words. “But Rey...I am still who I am, and if you agree to this I am a package deal. Are you OK with that?”

“You mean am I OK with marrying Ben and Kylo? Are you OK with marrying Rey and the Last Jedi?”

He studied her face, taking in the earnestness in her words. There was still flushed skin hiding under her constellation of freckles. He had a sudden urge to kiss them that he resisted. Instead, with resignation, he suggested they join the others for lunch.

__________________________

Back in the room, Leia pressed on. “We have a few other requests. First, we do not want Rey to live on a ship. We would like to make this estate on Naboo her home. We realize that her presence in other places may be required, but she would like to live here most of the time. Second, we request that the wedding take place a week from today, here at the estate. This would be a small, private affair, with a week honeymoon at our family’s cottage by the sea in Apailana. Lastly, Rey wants her last name to be Solo.”

Kylo had been silent since they returned to the room. He took it all in and glanced at Hux.

“General, might I request a recess where my general and I can consult? Would there be a room available?”

“Of course. Three-p-o will show you to the study. Please let him know if there is anything you need.”

The men left the room. Rey kept fiddling with the material of her dress. Leia rubbed her tension-filled temples and finally suggested, “Rey...why don’t you go walk by the lake for a bit. The fresh air will be good for you.”

She didn’t need any more prompting. She ran out of the room to the sanctuary of the water’s edge.

Leia went to the window to watch her where Poe joined her.

“How do you think it’s going? Can we really end a war with a marriage?”

Leia’s eyes were sharp and narrowed as she watched Rey’s figure take refuge at the lake. “Yes - I think we can. Usually, such arrangements happen only for peace and not love….but I am convinced that these two love each other...they just haven’t figured it out yet. With this agreement, we can actually achieve peace and help them find each other. And I might even get some grandkids out of it.”

________________________________________

“Hux...have you ever heard of such a thing?”

Ben’s new confidant was having trouble keeping up with his rapidly changing role in the Supreme Leader’s life.

“Well, sir….”

“Hux...just call my Kylo...or Ben….everyone else here seems to think it’s the later.”

“Very well...how about Ren. It’s close to Ben but still connected to Kylo. Ben might be hard to explain back on the ship. So...Ren..yes. Marriages to form alliances and end battles are actually quite common in the scope of history. In this particular saga, it’s never been offered, but it would not be unheard of.”

“Hmm...but is it the right course of action now?”

“Only you can answer that, Sup...err...Ren.”

“What would you do in my shoes?”

Hux contemplated the question and the man in front of him carefully. “I don’t feel I can answer that. But, may I have permission to speak freely about some observations I’ve made?”

Ben nodded, wondering if he would like what was going to come out of his mouth.

Hux proceeded carefully, “It has become apparent to me over the last week since Snoke’s death that you are undergoing some sort of….transformation. Clearly, Snoke always pulling the strings in your mind had changed your character. We all know that was not an easy presence to take. I have always respected your power Ren, and I would sometimes wish we weren’t at each other’s throats...or rather mostly you at mine. When I found you unconscious out on the snow on Starkiller, I toyed with leaving you there, but I had hopes that you could be more, so I dragged your carcass back. Maybe it was self-preservation to try to save the heir apparent, or maybe it was pity for the torment I know you suffered from Snoke. I’m not sure. The difference over these last days in your treatment of me has been night and day from our relationship prior. I went from an object of annoyance to what those who are outside our order might almost refer to as a friend. You have twice now asked me for input into matters of the utmost importance. I’m afraid the role of advisor to the Supreme Leader, while not unwelcome, is new to me.”

Ben started to talk, but Hux held up his hand. “Ren, we have piled unimaginable resources and time into chasing a small band of rebels. You and the general both have asked an interesting question--what would we do if we weren’t at war? We have troops that leak out the bottom, on a regular basis from low morale, especially since FN-2187 defected. Would we keep troops? Would we manufacture something? Can we even afford to continue at our current pace? Really, you are the only one who can decide. I do want to say that I will follow you. I wouldn’t have said that a week ago, but I do now. I believe our men will too. Furthermore, since I’m still being candid, I wonder if you are being honest with yourself about your feelings for that girl in there. Am I understanding correctly that you proposed to her already?”

Ben, pacing now, laughed and shook his head. “I’m not sure what I did last week, but whatever it was, she wasn’t having it.”

“There may be worse things in the universe than marrying the girl you love and giving the people you lead the chance for a life apart from war.”

Ben sank down in the nearest chair, face in his hands. “Is it that obvious?”

“Well, yes...but if it’s any consolation, I don’t think she has a clue. Now, have you thought about your requests to this arrangement?”

“My requests?”

“Yes. like, are you OK with the wedding in a week?”

“Yes...unless it could be sooner.”

“Are you OK with the Naboo thing?”

“Yes...but I think I will need to spend some time in Coruscant, and on the Destroyer...I want her with me.”

“How about the last name.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for that one. I haven’t even had a normal conversation with Leia yet. What if she is Rey Skywalker-Organa-Solo privately, but also a titled name with whatever we decide to call this new thing we are doing.”

“That could work. We should probably think about some sort of ceremony and arrive at the title. Anything else, or are you ready to go back?”

“Can we negotiate for a longer honeymoon?” Ben teased on the way out, then stopped suddenly, his face serious.

“I need to talk to her...alone...before we go back in there.”


	4. Engagement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's official!

It turned out that Rey hadn’t come back in from her walk, so before heading back to the dining room, Ben went to find her at the lake. She was standing there, still as a statue, her arms wrapped around herself. She was so deep in thought...he didn’t want to startle her. He softly called out, “Rey.”

She pulled out of her reverie and glanced over her shoulder at him.

“Is it time to go back?”

“Almost, but I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Ok.” She turned to face him, arms still wrapped around herself. 

“Are you cold? We can go back inside.”

“No...I think it’s just nerves.”

“About marrying me?”

She exhaled. “Yes...no...not...really, it’s just everything. My life has been through a lot of transitions in a short amount of time. It’s hard to believe it was just two months ago I was still on Jakku. I’m just trying to keep up.”

He looked at the brave girl standing in front of him, in awe of her strength. He took a deep breath and began, “Rey...I can’t promise what life with me is going to be like. I have a temper, I am still more dark than light, and I have no idea how this peace agreement will go over with my troops and those who have supported the First Order. It could bring a mutiny and even more danger. Since this is all new to me as of today, I really haven’t fully thought through all of the implications. You have no example of marriage in front of you, and the one I grew up in was less than stellar. They loved each other, but they constantly argued...mostly about me….and Han was gone more than he was home. I think you understand the dysfunctionality you would be stepping into since my first conversation with my mother in over 8 years is a formal negotiation to end a war. Neither of us has any idea what we are doing” Ren grabbed her hand, “But if we do this, I can promise you, as much as it depends on me, you will never be alone. I will always have your back.”

“And, I promise, as far as what kind of marriage it is...that is up to you. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. That ball is in your court.”

He was rewarded with another freckle-dusted blush as she nodded. He offered her his arm and they went back to the table. The final agreement was made with the requested concessions on both sides. In one weeks time, Rey and Ben would be married. They would spend a two-week honeymoon in the cottage by the sea, and in one month, a First Order welcome reception/ball would be held in Coruscant to introduce her as his co-...whatever. Ben and Hux had a lot to work out, but they would return the following Wednesday for the wedding on Friday.

Ben was quiet on the way back to the ship, and Hux left him to his thoughts.

 

___________________________________________

The next day, Ben asked Hux to report to his office.

“Good morning, Ren. How did you sleep?”

Ben grimaced, “Well, once I finally fell asleep, fairly well. My mind was in overdrive, though, so it took a while.”

“I’ll bet.”

He smiled and continued. “Part of the thoughts keeping me up is why you are here. First, we need to think through what the next step is for our troops.”

 

“We?”

Ben looked surprised. “Hux...you are their leader, and I want you to be part of the process. Is this agreeable to you?”

“Quite.” Right then, Hux decided that he was resolved to no longer be surprised by Ren.

“Very well. I have some ideas, but I want us to work together on that. Second, I want to hear about the Republic. I imagine you know a bit more than I with both of your parents involved and your interest in politics yourself. Would this also be something you would have studied at the academy or have knowledge of?”

“The Republic? Why, yes...I know a great deal about that.” This was getting interesting. “Where would you like to start?

“Let’s start with the troops. I think that is the most pressing matter. I want to know if we have records of where the men and women came from.”

“The troop historical data in the data system and Snoke insisted on meticulous records. I believe we still have access to all of that.”

“Very well. I would like to get that information. Can you have the file sent to my datapad?”

“Of course. May I ask what you plan to do with this information?”

“To be honest, I’m not completely sure yet. I can’t get away from the thought, though, that perhaps it will give us clues to the question about what becomes of the First Order. I want to understand where they came from, and what they did before they were just known as a number.”

“OK. Now, what would you like to know about Republic?”

Ben asked how it came to be and what happened in its fall. He understood the Jedi/Sith story, but not the political structure. The rest of their time was a rather detailed assessment in a way that only Hux could do. Every once in a while, Ben would pose a question to which the general would give more than an ample reply. He silently wondered if the man had a brain or a large data file masquerading as one. He was proving to be far more useful and diverse in his skills that Ben imagined.

A few hours later, after he received the data file, he started pouring over the information. Some of the troops had been taken as younglings so early he doubts they remember anything but their time as a stormtrooper. Some were taken as prisoners having lived a good deal of life first. But, after being interrogated and conditioned, they swore allegiance to the First Order. File after file, face after face. The faces got him a bit. In a world where almost everyone wore a mask, the faces were jarring. 

As he sat in his quarters scrolling through the pages, he absentmindedly fingered the scar on his face. It didn’t take long doing that before his thoughts turned to Rey. He wondered if she had trouble sleeping last night too. He knew she suffered from nightmares and visions at times. In her sleep, she couldn’t help but let the terror translate through their bond. Sometimes he would brush against her mind gently and soothingly in an attempt to calm her wild emotions. He didn’t sense that last night, and he did not seek her out. He didn’t know what to say. He wondered how she was handling all of this. The thoughts led to a tug on the bond.

“Rey? Are you there?”

It was quiet for a moment...then he felt the hum of the connection.”

“Ben...I’m meditating. What do you want?”

“I….I just wanted to check in on you. How are you?”

He saw her sitting on the floor or his room then, in her pose. She dropped her head and sighed before finally opening her eyes and peering at him sideways through her eyelashes.

“I’m sorry...I have been distracted. I’m trying to calm my mind.”

He walked over to stand in front of her before dropping to the ground, folding into a sitting position with his legs a few inches away from hers. As he gazed at her face, he realized she must be outside...probably at the lake. There was light bouncing off her face in the pattern of sunlight on the waves.

“You love that lake, don’t you?”

She shyly smiled. “I do. I have always dreamed of water.”

“I remember that...from that first night on Starkiller. The ocean and the island you would dream of on Jakku.”

The smile widened and cracked across her whole face now in joy. He watched her spellbound and made a mental note to try to think us as many ways as possible to bring that kind of smile to her face.

“Naboo has been such a different experience for me. On Jakku water is precious. Here, it’s in an abundance. I had never even bathed with water until I came here. Its feel of it on my body is exhilarating!” After those words left her mouth, she suddenly remembered who she was talking to, and she lowered her eyes in a bit of embarrassment. 

Ben tried to push the mental image her words encouraged from his mind….out of the bond. Refocus.

“Rey...do you know how to swim?”

Her eyes joined his again with a bit of a damper in them. “No...I don’t. There is nowhere on Jakku to swim, and I’ve been a bit busy since leaving. I never learned.”

He was thoughtful for a minute. “You know, at the sea where we will go next week, there is a lagoon not far from the cottage that is calm and good for swimming. I can teach you if you’d like. Then you can swim in the lake when we get back home.” That last phrase gave him pause….we get home. He wondered if he had anywhere he had called home since leaving Han and Leia’s home in Hanna. Certainly, nowhere that seemed like home, and he wondered what that might feel like. He really wanted to find time to think about what makes a home with this woman across from him would be like.

She lightly grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’d like that very much, Ben. Thank you.”

He felt the warmth emanate from her fingers, snaking its way up his arms and to his chest where the sensation settled. He decided right then that agreeing to Leia’s peace treaty might be the best decision he’d ever made. He brought her fingers to his lips to brush them in a light kiss before releasing them with a sigh.

“I need to go now. I have a lot to do before leaving in a few days. There are things to do before being gone for weeks, and I need to get to it.” He reluctantly stood up and offered her his hand to help her rise.

She grabbed it, letting go quickly to brush the grass and dirt off her backside. “Of course. I hope your work is….” She struggled to come up with a truthful descriptor for how she thought First Order business should go that sounded nice, so she just stopped.

He knew there would be things to discuss the changes he was feeling about his role and purpose in the First Order, but he didn’t want to do that through the bond now. He knew there would be lots of time in the coming weeks. Impulsively he stooped down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, cupping her face with his hands. She reached up and grabbed his wrists with hers. They stayed like that for just a moment, then he was gone.

She turned to look at the lake again, lightly fingering where his lips had just been on her forehead, and smiled.

Ben slowly walked back to his desk to dig in again, turning to look at the emptiness where she had just been. He smiled at the grass, leaves, and dirt in a little patch on his floor.

_________________________________

He and Hux were leaving tomorrow to go back to Naboo. After pouring over the data, he was starting to get some ideas about how to move forward, but more work needed to be done.

“Hux, while I’m gone, I would like for you to categorize the types of skills and labor the troops had before we obtained them. If they know a trade, were farmers--whatever it is, let’s note that and start to categorize them. That should take you a while. When I’m back from my honeymoon, we will discuss what you find.”

“What are you thinking, Ren.”

“Well, if we can dampen the effects of their conditioning, and we have enough people in different categories, perhaps we will start to see patterns and it can inform our next steps. Combined with the work we trained them for here...I think we will figure out what is next from there.”

“Is the First Order going to go in the farming business?”

“No...well...maybe. It just makes sense to me that we would look at our assets and the knowledge and abilities they already have, then see if there is a way to build a future on it. If not, we can go to plan B.”

“It sounds like a wise start. I will start the data sort now so I can get on it when I get back.”


	5. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter today...why? Happy May the 4th!

Ben and Hux arrived back on Naboo mid-morning on Wednesday as scheduled. Since only the two of them came, Leia offered them rooms as the estate. She rationalized to Hux that the home would soon belong to Ben and Rey, and there were no other accommodations in the region. He didn’t even ask Ben, but just agreed with a smile. He didn’t think the arrangements would be unwelcome.

C3PO was the one that received them on arrival. He apologized, saying the others were involved in a wedding task, but would arrive shortly. He showed them to their rooms, being careful to remind himself that Leia asked him not to reveal that she but Ben in the room across from Rey. She wanted him to discover that for himself. The droid often struggled to keep information to himself, but the general was most adamant and he managed to keep the information under wraps. 

Ben set his pack down and went to the open doors of the balcony. He was on the hillside view of the home. Not as lovely as the lake view, but nice. He went to the attached facilities to freshen up from the trip and get ready for the events of the day. As he came back into the room, he hears a metallic knock on the door. The droid apologized for interrupting but told him that Leia had requested a private audience with him at 11 am in the study. He cautiously agreed...wondering what he was in for.

He looked over the hills and knew what he needed to do. It was time.

___________________________

Ben’s footsteps slowed as he neared the open study door. He knew this day would come, where he would need to finally talk to Leia about all that had happened….but now that time was upon him and his anguish heart willed him not to step forward anymore. He leaned for a moment on against the wall, trying desperately to school his emotions. His grief was thrumming through the bond, and he felt Rey’s force presence weaving calming, warm threads through his soul. He steadied himself, took a deep breath, and forced his body forward.

Leia was sitting behind the large desk, which only seemed the accentuate her slight size. She looked so much older and smaller than he remembered...steely but also frail. Her head was in her hands, and he could sense that he was not alone in his difficult emotions. He cleared his throat, and she looked up. One set of brown eyes caught their twins, and a measure of understanding passed between them. She stood up and motioned for him to sit in one of the two chairs by the window while she took the other. She was looking at her hands in her lap, pausing before she looked back up at him.

She found her voice, but it was strained. “Ben... I asked you here because I just want to hear from you, from your perspective. I’d like to ask you some questions? Is that OK?” He nodded, so she continued. 

“I would like to know when you first remember hearing Snoke’s voice in your head.”

Ben’s eyes found the lake to his side just out the window, and looking into its depths was easier than the chocolate pools of her eyes. “I can’t remember his voice not being there. Ever.”

“When you would have night terrors...was that him?”

He just nodded.

Leia swallowed hard past the lump forming in her throat. Her eyes found the water also. “There have been many times over the years that I wished I had taken Luke up on his offer to train me in the force. I had no interest in being a Jedi, so I never did. But I can’t help but wonder that maybe if I had...maybe I could have helped you more. Maybe I could have sensed better what was happening to you and done something about it.”

Ben considered her words and offered, “Snoke was manipulative and predatory. I’m not sure what you could have done.”

Her eyes fell on his face again, taking in his tense features. “Rey told me about what happened with Luke--on that night that you left the academy.”

His jaw clenched while he stood there silently.

“Did she tell you that Luke finally confessed that to her? The mistake he made?”

His eyes snapped to her. “No...we haven’t talked about that night again.”

“Before she came to you on Snoke’s ship, she confronted him about it. He told her that he came to watch you sleep and sensed the dark rising in you. He raised his lightsaber in anger in response but had stopped himself and was disengaging when you woke up. But, it was too late...” her voice broke off at the end.

“Too late indeed” his voice was thick.

She let those words hang in the air and looked back out to the lake. “For what it’s worth, Ben...I’m sorry. I’m sorry for so many things. Sorry that I couldn’t protect you, sorry that you felt abandoned. I thought I was doing what was best for you. Han was in anguish sending you away, and things were never right between us after that. It’s like our whole family fractured because of that one decision. I was wrong.”

The mention of Han’s name made his eyes sting. He knew he needed to say something...knew that she needed to understand why...but he felt frozen. His mind was having trouble forming words. He looked down at his gloves...at the hands that had done the action, he could not come back from. He shuddered as sobs struggled to break the surface. Finally, he tried.

“I have always been split in two, the dark side playing tug of war with me. I could not eradicate the light--and I couldn’t hide that from Snoke. He sensed my weakness for my family...and then later for Rey. So, he would create lies based on truth, about how I was abandoned and unloved, how Luke was jealous of me and my power. He made my mind feast on his deceit. He was kind in those days, and he made me feel like he was the only one who truly understood and cared about me,” tears were escaping down his cheeks now. 

“Later, he turned cruel and demanding. He would torture me, in my mind and in my body. He was relentless, and it would go on for hours. Many times I needed days of medical attention to recuperate.” Ben stood up then and started pacing, gripping his fists, lost in the memories. “He would taunt me, saying I could never live up to my grandfather, that I was a disappointment and a failure. When I sensed Han there, he told me this was a test...a chance to test my true loyalties.”

He stopped...facing that lake now, trying to find the courage to keep talking and tell Leia what she needed to hear.

“When I walked out onto that bridge, I was resolute and clear in my mind. But then when I stood in front of him, such memories washed over me. I felt that conflict and tearing again...and I thought maybe, maybe this was my chance to be free. I had to break loose to one side or the other. I asked Han to help me...and he promised to. I wavered. There was light shining on my face, from a portal above, and at that moment I thought maybe...just maybe I could. Maybe I could go home with him like he asked. But then the light was blocked, and just like that the darkness in me arose.” He stopped...tears steadily streaming down his face now.

He circled around in front of Leia’s chair and crumpled to the ground in front of her...bowing before her in repentance. “I did it. Snoke pushed and goaded me to it, but I did it and I have never regretted anything more. It didn’t bring relief. It brought more conflict and opened the chasm in my soul even deeper. It rent me in two...I loved him….I’m so….so….” and he fell in a heap on the floor, sobs wracking his body. 

Leia tentatively, quietly moved to kneel in front of him, and for the first time in many, many years she touched her son. Gently, on his shoulder...then rubbing his back as the emotion overtook him. They stayed that way for some time. She knew it had been long when her old knees protested. But she stayed, tracing circles in his back and started to hum. It came so naturally to her, and she realized it was the lullaby she would sing to him when he was a boy. When she put him to sleep, when he awoke with terror, when he was sick...it was her song to him in good times and bad. She let the memories spill out of the vault they had been stored away in her mind.

Ben felt whispers of a soft touch on his other side...away from Leia. It had the transparency of a force touch…

He was home.

_____________________________

The day before the wedding, Rey was restless. She went for a walk, meditated and trained. She hadn’t slept well for days, but rather than making her weary it was pumping adrenaline through her system. She didn’t see Ben that day until lunch, but her state made her jump. He was almost done when she came in the room. She saw the alarm in his face and apologized.

“Rey...what is it?”

She frowned. “I don’t really know, but I just feel like I could crawl out of my skin. I feel anxious and keep trying to find release, but nothing is helping.”

He considered her words, and an idea popped into his head. He looked over and casually suggested, “How about sparring with me?”

Her eyes lit up at the suggestion. She had not had a sparring session with a partner since she got back to the resistance. She looked down at the navy silk dress she was wearing. “I would need to change. And I don’t have a saber anymore.” She tried not to let that last bit sound too sassy, but she was still smarting about why she was without...

He didn’t take the bait. “We can just use practice sabers. I need to change too. Finish up your lunch and I will meet you at the lake in an hour.” At that, jogged off towards his room.

Rey tried not to eat too fast, remembering the manners Leia and Connix had been drilling in her. For the first time in many days, she felt excitement coursing through her veins.  
____________________________

Rey arrived at their arranged spot in light leggings and a loose sleeveless tunic belted at her waist. Ren was already there in a fitted black tank and pants...tight pants. Did he always wear those? With all the robes and layers he usually wore, it was hard to tell. She felt his amusement poking in her head, and she shrugged him out.

With a knowing smile, he lit his saber, waving it to his side and asked, “Are you ready Scavenger?”

Fighting Rey was back. She replied by lighting hers also before saying wryly, “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

With the white practice sabers that can only stun, they began to circle around each other. Blows started to come equally. He was so much stronger and was able to use his height to his advantage, but she was small, agile and quick. Back and forth, each taking the advantage and then losing it to the other. It became a sort of dance...a sweaty, swirling, violent dance. 

Rey felt the freedom it provided to the anxiety her body had been holding, and it only fueled her more. She gained the upper hand and delivered blow after blow...sending him out of balance. He stumbled backward and fell, and she straddled his chest, sitting to restrain him, saber held to his neck.

“Yield?” she snarled.

He looked up at her, his eyes warm and amber in the sunlight. This was the first time since he had seen her look at him like that. He had missed feisty Rey. “You have that look in your eyes...like in our first duel in the forest and in our first connection through the bond.” 

She clicked off the saber and tried to catch her breath, still sitting. “Well, you seem to bring that look out in me. The years ahead of us will be interesting.”

His eyes turned serious and he suddenly sat up, catching her back with his arms till she was sitting on his lap, then resting his hands lightly on her hips. Those eyes turned to her lips and the tension of the moment shifted. Rey suddenly became aware of his mood change and her breath caught. She could smell his masculine scent mixed with the outdoors. She was very aware of how soft and full his lips looked up close. She felt powerless to move. It was almost like when he had her in a force hold...but he didn’t. Her own body was holding her captive there. Slowly, steadily he drew closer to her face. He looked up into her eyes for just a moment before his lips softly brushed hers. He held them there, just slightly increasing pressure, but not demanding anything further for a moment before releasing her and sighing.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

She looked at him a bit dazed “You have?”

“I have, Rey. Is that OK?”

She looked up with wide hazel eyes sparkling with sunlight and just nodded. Her eyes flitted to the scar...her scar. She gently traced it with her fingertips. She looked uncertain and whispered, “did I do it right?”

He tried hard not to laugh. She had no idea what she did to him. “Did you do it right? I think so...what did you think?”

She nodded again, her voice shaky. “I’ve just never done that...so I wanted to check.”

He just hugged her. She was so precious, and he knew gaining this woman’s trust and wooing her was going to be delightful. Then he silently wondered when the Supreme Leader started using words like delightful. He let her go, grudgingly, and helped her up--not releasing her hand.

“I want to get cleaned up, and I think I need a snack...sound good?”

She nodded again, “Why don’t you meet me on my balcony for tea at 3 pm. Leia has Three-p-o spoiling me with that every day...I can just let him know you will join me?” 

“That sounds perfect.” He pulled her hand and started towards the house. “Where is your room?”

“Why...I’m just across the hall from you. Didn’t you know?”

So...they were going to be showering at the same time...across the hall from each other. Ben slowly shook his head as bubbles of delight sprung up from his core. There’s that word again...

________________________

Rey was back in her dress with her damp hair down and waving at her shoulders. She thought that this lounge on the balcony was her favorite place on earth. She slunk down in the soft cushions and let her head fall back. Finally spending the energy in the duel had brought the fatigue she had been seeking, and she almost fell asleep before hearing the knock on the door jam. 

“You look sleepy.”

Ben rounded the end of the couch and sat in the corner next to her, turning slightly sideways to face her.

She looked up at him with a lazy smile, “I am--it just hit me.”

He leaned over and brushed a stray strand of hair off her forehead. He could smell her fresh shampoo from her still damp hair from where he sat. She closed her eyes, and he sat there stroking her hair gently for a few minutes….and he realized she really had fallen asleep. He studied her face, enjoying how peaceful she was in her. Her rosy mouth hung open a bit, and she breathing was heavy. He let her fall more deeply asleep, then gently shifted her head to his chest as he wrapped his arm around her. She sighed and snuggled in, and he is a much better proximity to smell her hair from.

In that moment he was aware that slowly over the last week, the ice that had once surrounded his heart was thawing. He never realized how cold he always felt inside, like he was in a deep freeze emotionally. He would get glimpses and nuances of warmth, mostly from Rey or his mother, but it never sunk down deep. The day he agreed to marry Rey, though...something had shifted. The tectonic plates of his heart moved to accommodate the warmth from her light, and he was never…..ever going to be the same.

Hi kissed the top of her head and thought that was a very, VERY good thing.

___________________________

“General Organa….I brought the tea as instructed, and this is how I found them. Shall I awaken them?”

The droid gestured in that choppy way of his to the napping couple on the lounge.

Leia smacked his gold chest with the back of he hand, “Don’t you dare, Three-p-o. Don’t you dare. We are done here.” And with that, she shooed the droid out the door, smiling and congratulating herself the whole way.

_________________________________


	6. Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite chapters to write. Love these two!

Ben stirred first. He felt the warm body snuggled on his side and remembered where he was. He didn’t open his eyes yet...just sighed and drank the moment in. He could tell from the lighting that it was almost dinner time. He never had that snack he planned on earlier. As if on cue, his stomach growled. Rey must have been starting to wake up too because the vibration caused her eyes to pop open. First, they looked content...then when she realized his chest was her pillow, she sat up suddenly. Her face flushed.

“Oh...oh...I’m sorry.” She stood up, brushing out the wrinkles in her skirt.

He studied her, not sure if he should be amused or alarmed at how skittish she still seemed around him. He decided to not call attention to her reaction, and just calmly said, “I think it’s time for dinner.” He stood and motioned for her to go through the balcony door first.

She turned, looking like she was going to say something else. She reconsidered and turned again to enter the room. He could tell she was embarrassed but wasn’t sure how to make it better, and he didn’t confess her napping against him was his doing. His mind was still groggy and slow. He waffled in indecision before resolving to head to his room to prepare for the meal. “I will see you downstairs, Rey.”

He walked across the hall to his room and shut the door, leaning his head against it. That girl….just meters away from him, had turned his world upside-down. Why was she embarrassed that she slept against him? He thought the kiss earlier was welcomed, but maybe he read her wrong. She seemed upset to have been so close to him. He didn’t know what to think...maybe they were further apart than he thought.

__________________________________

Rey went to the fresher and tried to still her shaky limbs by holding onto the sink. How had that happened? Had her body betrayed her and flung itself at him in her sleep? If she closed her eyes, she could still feel his warm chest under her cheek and his arm across her side. Her right side still echoed the warmth of him. Sleeping on him had just felt so...intimate. It was warm and right and scary all at the same time. She didn’t know what to think and wondered what he was thinking about her. Her fingertips came up to her lips as she remembered the kiss. Why had he done that? Maybe since they had to kiss at the end of the ceremony tomorrow, he wanted to practice? Make sure she knew how to do it before they had to in front of everyone?

She shook her head and started freshening up. She caught the top half of her hair up in a bun to get it off her face but left the rest down. When she was finished, she walked to the closet and surveyed her options. She chose an eggplant-colored gown with gold trim. It was a similar velvet to the green dress, so she knew it would provide a tactile distraction if she needed it. There were some gold sandals that completed the outfit.

She brushed the anxiety off, shaking her shoulders and arms before she left the room. She would get through this night. She would.  
_________________________________

Dinner was a bit quiet. Hux attempted to make conversation a few times, to which only Poe responded. The general kicked Ben under the table, stirring a questioning glance.

“What?”

“Ren, what do you think?”

“What do I think about what?”

“What do you think about who will win the Tatooine pod races this year?”

“I’m sure I don’t know.”

Poe shot Ben a dark look, glancing back and forth between him and Rey. Rey looked miserable, and Ben was retreating to a brooding mood.

Leia cleared her throat. “Poe and Hux, could you join me in the study for dessert? I have a few more details I’d like to discuss with you.” She shot Connix a pointed look.

“Oh...yes, I need to go over those documents before tomorrow too” and the young women left the room.

Hux was curious what the general could possibly want to discuss with him and the cocky pilot, but he followed her obediently to the room, and she closed the door behind them. The two men looked at her expectedly.

She looked at them in exasperation, waving her hand in their direction. “Don’t look at me like that...I don’t actually WANT to talk to the two of you. We just needed to leave them alone. You could have cut that tension with a sword, and they need to clear the air.”

Poe saw a Dejarik set on the game table. He gestured to it with a nod and asked the general, “What do you think. Care to wager if the First Order or Resistance will win?”

“I’ll take that bet, Commander.”

She rolled her eyes, then shook her head at what a difference a week could make.  
________________________________

They sat in silence for a few minutes after everyone had left. 

“Ben...again, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I moved over in my sleep on you. I hope it wasn’t too awkward.”

Her words surprised him. She seemed to think he’d somehow be offended. He was incredulous at the path her thoughts had taken her, especially after he kissed her. Hadn’t he made it obvious?

“Rey, I moved you over to rest on me. Purposefully….intentionally.”

The confusion in her eyes when she turned her face up to him was endearing.

“You...you what?”

He just nodded at her in response, his eyes soft and warm. “I even fell asleep too. I never do that.”

“Wh...wh...why would you do that?”

“Because I wanted to.”

She still looked confused. “Why would you want me to do that?”

He was having trouble not looking at her lips again. “Rey, why would you be surprised that I wanted to be close to you. I kissed you.”

“I…..I thought you just wanted to practice kissing for tomorrow.”

He held her eyes and just shook his head.

“Oh" she gulped.

Someday he was going to kiss those flushed freckles, but he sensed this was not the time. There were still things to say.

“I guess I still don’t understand why you would want me to do those kinds of...things….with you.”

“Why?” 

How could she not know? He had been flirting with her and giving her small signs of affection. Well, he thought he had, but he was admittedly in new territory. Perhaps those skills needed some work.

In an achingly lonely voice, she stated, “Because no one ever has….wanted me to be with them...like that.”

He carefully considered what to do next. Suddenly, it hit him like an asteroid field. This woman, this sweet, kind, brave, feisty, beautiful woman had no idea of her worth. The circumstances of her life passed over his mind, and he knew that the little, abandoned girl who had to fight to survive her whole life was afraid to think...afraid to believe in belonging to someone only to be abandoned again. He hadn’t helped the situation either with his poor speech the week before. Was it that she didn’t trust him to not leave? Was it that she just didn’t know how to belong? Did he either?

He pushed back his chair and moved to kneel at the side of her chair. He gently put his hands on her shoulders to turn her body towards him, then moved a hand to her chin to tilt it up till she looked into his eyes. 

“Rey...I need you to know two things. First, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving. From now on, you are not going to be alone. We are going to belong to each other, and you are stuck with me. Secondly, I haven’t wanted to scare you off, so I’ve tried to be restrained, but I want you. You...everything you are. I want to hug you, and cuddle you, and kiss you….and I will stop there for now. But let there be no doubt in your mind...I want you. Period.”

Her hazel eyes opened wide...surprise registering there, and then some acceptance. She tentatively raised her hand and brushed the wave of hair that was close to dangling in his eyes off his forehead. “I’ve been wanting to do that. Your hair is so much softer than I thought it would be,” she said wistfully.

He grabbed her hand and pressed her palm to his lips, closing his eyes and just taking in the sweet smell of her. With great effort, not wanting to do anything else to spook her while she processed his words, he stood and offered her his arm. 

“Now, may I escort you back to your room, my lady.”

She shyly nodded and took his arm.

He deposited her at her door with a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sunshine.” He forced himself to walk across the hall to his room. 

_______________________________________

He didn’t stay in his room too long, though. He couldn’t relax, knowing she was right there. He had to get out of here or he was going to stalk across the hall and break every word he had just said to her. He left his room and went to hunt down Hux.

He tried to stifle his surprise when he found Hux...and Poe...and Leia in the study. Together. What kind of craziness had happened over the last week to allow that? The two men were oblivious to his entry, so great was their battle over the game board.

Leia looked up and smiled, rolling her eyes at the gameboys. She stood and shook her head, mumbling a good night to them and patting Ben’s arm on the way out. Finally, the other two looked up.

“Ren! Great news...the First Order is winning.”

“Not so fast, Hux. Never take your eyes off the board.” Poe landed a critical final blow. “And, that’s how it’s done.”

Ben had grabbed a bottle off the shelf with three glasses and sat in the chair across from them. “Are you boys done now?”

Now he had their attention. Poe snorted. “Is that Corellian Whiskey? Do you even know how old that stuff is?”

He shrugged and smiled. “Does it go bad? It’s fine. I force-checked it. Care to join me for a wedding eve toast?”

They both jumped up, grabbing the glasses he had poured for them.”

“What are we toasting?”

Ben deadpanned, “Um...the bride and groom?”

Poe just shook his head, “I’m not sure I can do that. Now, to the bride...I think we all can get on board with that. Everyone loves Rey. But you….”

Hux nodded, Ben sighed, glasses clinked, and were emptied.

A few shots in, Ben’s lips started to loosen a bit. 

“Poe...what do you know about Rey and her relationships? Was there anyone special in the Resistance for her?”

“Nah...I mean, she and Finn are tight, but that is platonic. I thought about asking her out,” he held up his hands as if shielding himself from the fiery darts suddenly shooting at him from across the room, “but I never did. Swear. Besides, it’s kind of hard to date someone when you are fighting a war. Clandestine flings, yes...but Rey’s not that kind of girl.”

Ben held his empty glass, tracing circles on the arm of his chair with its base. It seemed like he wanted to say something, starting and stopping a few times, but then just sat there silent.

Hux tentatively asked, “Ren...are you alright?”

Finally, he exhaled and said, “How bad is it that we are getting married tomorrow, and I’ve never been with a woman, and the kiss I planted on Rey yesterday was her first?”

Animated brown and icy blue eyes turned to each other, staring each other down as if they were drawing mental straws to see who would have to answer.

Apparently, Poe lost. “So...when you say you haven’t been with a woman, you mean….”

Ben poured another glass. “Celibacy is part of the Jedi code, which I followed and I didn’t leave the order until I was 18. Snoke viewed any sort of attachment as weakness. So, except the girl I kissed at the Jedi Academy when I was 16...well….that is it. Until I kissed Rey yesterday.”

Poe’s eyebrows shot up, and he looked at Hux. “You want to jump in here, buddy?”

Hux cleared his throat. “You know, maybe it’s a good thing that both of you are...inexperienced. I mean, you won’t really know if someone’s performance is subpar, right?”

Ben groaned and smacked his palm to his forehead. “I can’t believe I’m having ‘the talk’ the night before my wedding with the two of you.”

“Well, listen...it’s a treat for us too” Poe quipped. But then, he thought of his friend that was going to have to marry this guy, and his eyes turned serious. “Take it from someone who has been around the block a bit. For guys, improvisation can be a bit easier. The physical stuff comes more naturally for us--it's instinct. But for a woman...it’s different. You need to be really patient and careful with her. Don’t go all dark-powerful-sith on her in the bedroom.”

Ben returned the solemn tone. “I would never do anything to hurt her.”

Poe stood, slammed the glass down and smacked Ben’s shoulders. “Good….I’m glad we had this little chat. I don’t know about you, but I feel better. Well, I’m off to bed boys.” He exited the room swiftly, whistling as he went.

Hux was left feeling the burden of the topic alone. “Errr….Ren….is there anything else you need? Questions?”

“Can I ask what your first time was like?”

“I’m afraid there won’t be much to tell. I was 17, still at school. I had a crush on one of the village girls. It wasn’t love, and it wasn’t anything memorable. There haven’t been a lot of others. There’s Phas….er….how much do you want to know about what goes on at the First Order?”

“Um...OK. I think I’m done with this...you?” and with that, both men nearly ran out of the room to head to their respective rooms. And so went Kylo Ren’s bachelor party.


	7. Union

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the force-willed marriage we've all been waiting for! Especially Leia!

The wedding was set for eleven o’clock in the morning. Ben and Rey had a two-hour journey to the get to the sea cottage, and there was a small celebration lunch before they left.

Rey woke early and watched the sun of Naboo begin its lazy ascent over the lake. She sat under a blanket in her favorite spot on the balcony, but shivers still ran up her spine. She supposed that it was part cold and part nerves. She also kept thinking about the last time she sat out here on her lounge...with Ben. She thought about their conversation after dinner. When he said she would never be alone and he wanted her. It wasn’t quite a declaration of undying love, but it was good. It warmed her heart and caused her to examine her own feelings for him. He didn’t scare her anymore, and she liked how he made her feel special. She supposed that was a start.

She wasn’t even sure what she really wanted. She liked the idea of someone to go through life with. She and Ben were connected in a way that no one understood. She thought that there probably wasn’t anyone else in the galaxy that could understand her...from the force-gift they shared to his intimate knowledge of her thoughts. She felt warm inside when she thought of him, and she took that as a good sign. 

She wondered a bit about her own parents. Were they in love? Was there ever a point where they loved her enough to keep her? She knew if they had stayed, she likely wouldn’t be here. What would her life have been? Would the force still have made this her destiny?

She was uncertain about many things today, but she knew in the depths of her soul that if she ever had a child, it would never know anything but her love and protection. 

She sipped her tea and felt at peace. No matter what was to come, she was ready. 

_____________________________

Leia had asked Ben to join her for breakfast, just the two of them. He got there before her, and she seemed surprised that he was there first. She still couldn’t believe that this huge man in front of her was her Ben. She was so grateful that he was back in her life, and she just wanted to relish that this morning.

He stood as she came in, “Good morning general….Mother.”

She smiled to herself, thinking that if he had disavowed so many things they had taught him, his manners were still intact. She couldn’t remember the last time he had called her that.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, dishing their food and preparing to eat. They both started to talk at the same time. She stopped and motioned for him to go as she took a bite.

“There was something I forgot to tell you yesterday when we talked. I actually thought you were gone that day that we...the First Order attacked the Raddus. I was on point...and I was the one that was to fire on the bridge. I had the clear shot...and I just couldn’t. I sensed you there, and I couldn’t do it. One of the other ships fired, though, before I could do anything to stop it. I just needed you to know that it wasn’t me. I wouldn’t hurt you like that.”

Leia stopped chewing and just stared with moist eyes.

“I knew you were in there, and I thought I felt your life force slipping. I thought you were gone. How did you survive that?”

Leia finally managed to swallow and wiped her lips with her napkin. “I don’t know. You know I am force sensitive... I just remember feeling called back...I could feel myself slipping, but the force took over and before I knew it, I was back on the ship being rushed off to the medbay. I think maybe I wasn’t ready to let go of the chance that you could come back and I would miss it.”

That brought his eyes back up to hers, full of emotion. “I’m glad you didn’t miss it.”

She patted his hand and started eating again. Today was a day for joy, not regrets.

“So...how are you feeling about today?”

He had a sheepish grin. “I am looking forward to it...a great deal. I think it is going to take a lifetime to figure that girl out.”

She chuckled, “Oh son...I’m not sure a lifetime is enough. I’m sure Han would say that he hadn’t figured me out, and we had a lot of years to try.”

He whispered quietly, “He should have had more years to try.”

This time she took his hand. “Ben, your father’s greatest desire was to bring you home. I am choosing to focus on the fact that he did. Not how we would have pictured...but he did. I know he would be proud of you. He loved Rey...and he was impressed with her. He asked her to join his crew, and I’ve never seen him offer something like that to a young person. Except wanting you to be a part of things when you were still home, it was always just him and Chewie. And, while he wanted to bring you home, and take down the weapon, he also went to Starkiller was to rescue her. I know he is looking on you with pride today.”

That brought a look of surprise to his face. He hadn’t known that.

Leia clasped her hand over her mouth. “Oh dear...I almost forgot to warn you. Rey asked Chewie to give her away today.”

Ben’s head shot up, alarm all over his face.

“Ummm...is he going to shoot me again?”

“Rey made him promise to be on his best behavior...but you are going to need to face him sometime. Hopefully, that won’t be today. But, Wookies aren’t known for their patience.”

Ben nodded, willing his last bite to swallow. Chewie was his uncle. He knew that he purposely didn’t inflict a mortal wound on him at Starkiller. He could have, but even after what he did to Han, he couldn’t.

Leia changed the subject again. “Ben, do you have a ring to give Rey?”

He shook his head. “I thought maybe I could get her one in the market Apailana after we get there.”

Leia reached beside her and brought out a box. “When we were going through your grandmother’s things, I found this. I thought you might like to have it.”

The box was intricate and lovely, inlaid with gold and metallic blue designs. When he opened it, there was a lovely antique ring. It had a series of clear and various shades of green stones set in gold filigree, looking like a constellation of stars set in a swirling design. It was lovely and looked like Rey, was it Padme’s wedding ring? If so, he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“Mom - was this the ring from their wedding?”

Leia shook her head. “I’m positive it’s not. Anakin didn’t have any money to buy something expensive. On old holo’s I’ve seen after they were married, she was just wearing a simple band. I think this was something from her family. I know Rey doesn’t have a family, and it just oozes off of her that she wants to be part of one more than anything. I thought she’d like to have a ring that was passed down from yours.”

She placed her hand on his again. “Ben...you are not Anakin. If anything, you are him in reverse. Love is part of what drove him to the dark side. I believe Rey’s love is drawing you back to the light.”

His vulnerable eyes raised to hers. “You think she loves me?”

Leia thought for a minute. “I can’t speak for her, but I believe she does care, though she can’t admit to it or explain it yet. You will need to give her time, but I believe in my heart she does. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have asked for all of this. What about you Ben? How do you feel?”

He sighed and looked out to the lake. “I think I’m crazy about her, but have no idea what I’m doing. I’m afraid I’m going to scare her away. I’m afraid of hurting her. I don’t ever want to let go of her, but I feel like she’s fragile and I can’t push too hard.”

“You should trust your instincts with her, Son. Give her time and space, and just help her see she can trust you. The rest will come….in time, it will come.”

Leia turned serious. “Have you thought about what the future holds for you and your leadership at the First Order? What’s next?”

He nodded. “I don’t have answers yet, but Hux and I are working on it. Things will change...it’s just not clearly defined yet.”

Change was more than she could have hoped for, so she didn’t press any further. She stood, “Now...we have a wedding to get ready for!” She started to leave the room, then turned suddenly. “Ben...I didn’t even think to ask you what you are wearing. Please don’t say black.”

He smiled and his eyes twinkled, “Just a little bit of black, mother. Just a little bit.”

____________________________

Rey just kept staring at herself in the mirror. She had never imagined that she could look like this. The dress was fitted on the top, with a high rounded neckline that just showed her collarbones. It nipped in at the waist, then flowed out around her legs. There was a train attached at the shoulders that spilled out in frothy aqua ruffles. Rey had never seen a beach, but for all her imagining the train looked like waves heading to the shore. The material was actually several sheer layers of different shades of blue-green, ranging from seafoam to teal. The effect of the different shades when she moved was mesmerizing. She had never felt fabric like this...what was it? So sheer and silky...it was like trying to hold a cloud.

Leia had lent her some simple solitaire earbobs with clear crystal stones that complimented the dress and seemed to help make her eyes sparkle. Leia and Connix had applied a few sparkly cosmetics that made her eyes and cheeks stand out and made her lips glossy. It was very light - she still looked like her but a bit older and more...more. And, they had styled her hair with a pattern of traditional Alderaanian wedding braids. 

Leia’s warm eyes were brimming with tears. She never thought she’d see her son again, let alone get to watch him marry a girl she loved so much. She was overwhelmed with gratitude. She hugged Rey gently, then shooed the two young women out of the room. “C’mon ladies...we can’t keep him waiting!”

Chewie was waiting outside for them. He smiled at the sight of Rey and told her how beautiful she looked, but then quietly spoke in concerned tones to her.

“Yes, Chewie...I’m sure. Remember, no hurting the groom today!”

He laughed and offered his arm. They walked together to the bottom floor and headed towards the spectacular lower level deck with a stunning view of the lake and waterfalls. There was no music...this was to be a simple ceremony. On such short notice, C3PO was the only officiant that could be found to perform the ceremony legally. Protocol droids had galaxy-wide authority to perform legally binding contracts.

Rey kept her eyes down...too nervous to look up. Ben tried to avoid looking at Chewie, and waiting until they turned so he could see Rey instead. His breath caught in his throat. He didn’t think he had ever seen anything so beautiful. Being a passionate guy, he was prone to emotion. And right now, he was trying very hard not to let any emotion escape out of his eyes and down his cheeks.

When Chewie stopped and moved her arm forward, she finally looked up. She first saw black pants and boots, but then as her eyes traveled up took in an ivory shirt and a midnight blue cape. There was a gold chain holding the cape together at the top. Finally, she let herself peek up at his face. She was stunned at the expression she saw there. She was caught in the gravity of his eyes. C3PO was rattling on about his authority to perform the ceremony and where the contract of marriage came from, but the two in front of him had eyes only for each other. 

He asked them to join hands for the vows, and suddenly Rey noticed that Ben wasn’t wearing gloves. He wasn’t often without them, and when he took her hands, a spark passed that traveled up her arms. She saw visions flash before her eyes. Confirmation of what she saw on Ahch-to, but more. Things that she and Ben would still experience and do….together. She gulped and tried to listen to the droid for her cue. 

He asked her to repeat after him first. “I Rey, take thee, Ben Solo, to be my lawfully wed husband. In all the galaxy, I promise to put you first above all others. No matter what tomorrow holds, we will face it together. This is my solemn vow.”

Then it was Ben’s turn. “I Ben, take thee, Rey of Jakku, to be my lawfully wed wife. (His voice hitched a bit on the word wife). In all the galaxy, I promise to put you first above all others. No matter what tomorrow holds, we will face it together. This is my solemn vow.”

The droid asked, “Ben, do you have a ring to seal your vow?”

He reached into his pocket and brought out the ring. Rey’s face was surprised, curious and then delighted as she saw the beautiful ring he was sliding on her finger.

She whispered to him, “I don’t have one for you.”

He just winked at her and kept his grip on her hands, then turned back to look at C3PO.

“And now, by the power vested in me by the planet of Naboo and all planets in the galaxy, I confer that you are husband and wife. Master Ben, you may kiss the bride.”

Ben leaned down and gently kissed her. It was sweet and soft, then it was over. Then he leaned down and hugged her.

And that is how she became Rey Solo.

_______________________________

By the time they said their goodbyes and headed out with their belongings in the speeder, the day was catching up with Rey. The steady rhythm of the speeder combined with the sun beating in the window was beckoning her to close her eyes. Out of the lovely dress, she was comfortable in leggings and a silk tunic made of a deep shade of green. She laughed at herself in her head, wondering what kind of slacker she was turning into to sleep in the afternoon every day. But give in she did. 

When she woke up, Ben was turning into the landing pad of a home. It wasn’t as large as the lake estate, but she thought cottage must have been a misnomer. It was one story but sprawled over a sizeable piece of property. It was on the beach but elevated and at enough distance to avoid the waves that pounded the soft white sand. A long porch ran across the entire front of the home. Her breath was sucked away as she turned to take in her first sight of a beach. The sun was starting to set, so the sky was full of corals, pinks, and purples. The water was darkening, but where the waves hit the sand she could see it was a translucent aquamarine. She had never seen anything like it. She shook herself to come back to her senses just as Ben leaned down to pick her up. He carried her up the porch and through the door. Once inside, he set her down gently.

It suddenly hit her in a wave of fear that she was in a house….alone….with Ben. Weren’t they just enemies two weeks ago? Now she was here as his wife. She didn’t know how this was going to go, and she tried not to panic.

As she looked around, her anxiety increased, though the colors of the decor that reflected the sand and water outside begged her to relax. Ben had gone back out to get their bags, and now he was leading her down the hall from the cozy front room. They passed a dining room, and then a hallway that had several doors shooting off from it. Ben stopped at the second one on the left and opened the door. Rey took in the large bed, a fireplace and a huge window that overlooked the beach. It was lovely, and Ben set down her bag on the chair by the door. 

“This will be your room.” The words he uttered brought relief and yet confusion to her.

“My room? Where are you staying?”

“I will be just across the hall. If you need anything just let me know. Why don’t you get your things settled? The caretaker was to get some food supplies. When you are ready, just come back out to the front of the house.” He smiled and shut the door as he left.

She stared at that closed door. She was grateful for the space, but couldn’t help wondering if her need for it disappointed him. She busied herself with hanging up her clothes and settling her personal items in the fresher to give her something else to think about.

When she wandered back down the hall, she smelled something wonderful. She followed her nose and saw Ben at the stove stirring something, flames at work under several pans. She couldn’t help but see what the wonderful smell was. She saw some sort of meat cooking and something green and fragrant next to another pan with a noodle dish.

She said incredulously, “You can cook?”

He smiled down at her and nodded. “Yep. Han taught me how in our many adventures on the Falcon. He hated portions and protein bars, so when fresh food was available, he would make a feast. Leia had grown up with servants. Princesses, senators, and generals don’t cook for themselves. Or actually, Supreme Leaders. It’s been a while, but I think it will suffice.”

Her stomach rumbled loudly in response. “It smells amazing. How long till it’s ready?”

“About 10 minutes.” 

She turned to peek her head in cupboards and drawers, rounding up the dishes and utensils they would need. She set them on the dining table in the other room. Ben told her where to find thick mats to place the hot pans on the table, so she got those set up too, just in time for him to bring out the meal. Her mouth was literally watering, and she tried desperately to remind herself of the table manners Leia had been drilling into her the last week.

Finally, the plates were served, and Rey took her first bite. A little groan of pleasure escaped her throat as she tasted the wonder Ben had cooked up. 

“Oh….I think I’m going to enjoy being married to you. I’m going to grow out of my clothes.”

Ben was chewing, looking amused. “I have a hard time imagining that.”

“Well, it happens, you know - to some women. Would it matter to you?” she teased.

“I’m not sure there is any way you can look that would bother me.”

In the warmth of the dim lights, she blushed.

“Ben...why did you put us in separate rooms?”

He took a drink of the water in front of him, giving himself time to choose his words carefully. “Rey, I meant it when I said how this goes is up to you. I’d like to use this time here for us to get to know each other better. I don’t have any expectations and don’t want you to feel pressure...we don’t need to do anything except what you want.”

Rey was such a practical girl. She had been given an earful from Connix about intimacy. She had a rough sketch of it, but the whole idea was so foreign to her and it frightened her. But, she had made a commitment, and she was prepared to uphold her side of the bargain. Rey kept her word.

“Ben...I agreed to marry you. I knew what that meant. I am prepared to do wifely duties.”

He started choking on the piece of meat in his mouth. “Wifely duties?”

She looked confused. Was that not what people called it?

“Rey, I’m not interested in duties, or anything you feel like you are supposed to do. If are together in that way, it will be out of desire and not duty. Your desire.” Her eyes got wide and her face flushed. “But, for tonight, finish up your dinner and then I have something special I want to show you. “

The conversation turned more casual. After they were done and he had taken the dishes to the sink, he took the hand and pulled her outside. He took the shawl he had grabbed on the way out and wrapped it around her shoulders. “The beach can get chilly at night, especially for a desert sunflower.” he quipped and kept leading her down the sand.

Suddenly, she looked up and it looked like the whole ocean was glowing. She tried to wrap her brain around what she was seeing. “What is that?!”

“It’s phosphorescent plankton. It only happens in a few places in the universe at certain times of the year. When the right conditions in the water happen, this kind of plankton has a season where it glows all night like this.”

“Ben, how often did you come here?”

‘We would come for two standard months in the summer, during the senator’s recess. This was Han and Leia’s favorite place. It was mine too. When we were here, the arguing happened less. And when they argued less, I struggled less with anger and my force issues. My memories in this place are all happy ones.” His smile was serene.

She squeezed his hand. “Thank you for showing me this. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Ben couldn’t stop himself, “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen was earlier today when I saw you coming down the aisle. You took my breath away.”

She looked up into his eyes. She was sure she was blushing, but she hoped in the dark of night he wouldn’t see. “No one has ever told me something like that before.”

Ben was gazing down at her, willing himself not to look at her lips--to keep the mood light. “Well...you better get used to it, Lady Rey.”

Her eyebrows shot up, “Lady Rey?”

“Yeah...we have lots of things we need to talk about, but not tonight. I’m not sure about you, but I’m beat. Let’s go back and I can get the fireplace going in your room. Those things can wait for another day.”

Rey laid her large but cozy bed later, staring at the fire and wondering at what Ben had said. Did he really think she was beautiful? Was she really a “Lady?” It seemed there were lots of things she didn’t know about this arrangement she had gotten herself into. Her body didn’t give her much time to contemplate, though, and she was soon drifting off to sleep, wondering when she had ever had a better day.  
________________________________

Ben readied himself for bed, and just shook his head in amazement at what had transpired over the last week. He had never planned to be married...and that he was….and to Rey. It was almost too much to wrap his head around. The last Jedi had wedged her way up in his heart, and he hardly recognized himself. There was so much to work out and think through for the future, but he resolved himself to selfishly focusing his time on Rey for the next three weeks. Not the First Order, or the Resistance and what this all meant, not troops or the galaxy. His last thoughts were that this is not how he thought he’d spend his wedding night...in separate rooms, but that it was still good.


	8. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know you...
> 
> I'm celebrating hitting 100 kudos and 50 subscriptions...WHOOP! I appreciate you who have taken the time to read, kudo, subscribe and especially comment!

Rey woke and saw from the amount of light coming in the windows that it was much later than she usually woke. She stretched lazily, enjoying the luxury of an abundance of sleep. She slept pretty well. Some bad dreams, but no nightmares. Then, she smelled something wonderful and her body snapped into discovery mode to check it out.

She opened the door and padded down the hallway. She was in a white cotton nightshirt trimmed in lace that was another gift from the abundance of Padmé’s things. It hit her just above her knees. If she was more awake she might have dressed first, but her rumbling stomach wouldn’t let her.

Ben was at the stove again and already showered, as evidenced by his damp hair, and dressed in dark green military looking pants and a loose tan shirt. She wondered what he had planned for the day.

He turned to take in her sleepy face, disheveled hair and nightclothes. “Good morning Sunshine...sleep well?”

“Too good! I can’t remember the last time I slept that long.”

“I thought I was going to have to come wake you up, just to make sure you were breathing. This is almost ready...do you want to have a seat?” He motioned with his head for her to sit on a stool at the breakfast bar attached to the end of the counter. He divided the eggs he was cooking onto two plates, followed by the bacon and some pastries. Last he added some local berries. 

“If I knew you cooked like this, I might have said yet to you the first time you asked me to join you” she teased.

He rewarded her with a big smile and a chuckle while he set the plates down. He walked around to sit next to her and tried REALLY hard not to notice her long bare legs trailing down the side of the stool. He distracted himself by grabbing the pot of caf and poured some for both of them.

They started to eat in a comfortable silence. After a few bites, he asked, “Have you ever been fishing?”

“Fishing? No. On the island, Luke would spear these massive fish, but that is the only time I had seen someone catch fish.”

“Well, fishing is one of those things people do on a vacation by the sea. And, if we are lucky, we will catch dinner. What do you think….would you like to try it?”

She nodded enthusiastically, still shoveling food in her mouth. Groggy Rey just couldn’t remember all her manners. The finished up breakfast and she ran to get ready. She took a cue from Ben’s clothes and wore a set of leggings, a tunic, and her arm covers.

When she found him on the porch, he had two sticks in his hands with strings hanging off of them. He pointed with them down the beach a ways. “We are going to walk down to that pier and fish off of it. It allows you to go deeper than when you are just on the shore.”

“A pier? What is that?”

It’s that bridge-like structure that extends out over the water.”

Her eyes looked a little nervous, but she nodded in understanding. 

“Rey - I know you can’t swim, and I wouldn’t let you do anything where you would be in danger. We are going to sit on it and it’s perfectly safe, ok?”

She rewarded him with a shaky smile and they set off. She loved the feel of the warm sand in her toes. She realized that she was looking at Ben’s feet for the first time. It was no surprise that they were long, lean and pale, just like the rest of him. She looked down at her toes and saw the pink lacquer that Leia had insisted Connix paint on them for the wedding. It was pretty…

They walked out onto the pier and Rey tried not to look down. She didn’t realize how high up it was when she saw it from a distance. She tried to take her mind off of it.

He set the supplies down and started to explain how this worked.

“So these are the poles. I’m going to tie a hook on the ends of the string, and then we will put bait on the hook.”

“Bait? What kind of bait?”

“Well, the kind of bait you use attracts different kinds of fish. Today we are going to use worm bits.”

“Worm bits? What are worm bits.”

He took the cover off of the little pail he was carrying, and she peeked inside and wrinkled her nose. He took one of the poles and opened a small case filled with sharp hooks. He selected one and tied it on, then did the same with the other. He reached inside and grabbed two pieces of bait, and handed her one of the poles. 

“Now watch me. You want to pull the pole back, and then fling it forward and let the string fly out. You use this little lever to wind the string in and out.” Then he demonstrated. She watched him carefully, then mimicked his actions. In no time they were seated on the pier.

Rey thought she had never been so comfortable with another human as she was at this moment with her….husband. That still sounded so strange to think.

“So...did Han take you fishing?”

Ben’s eyes got distant as he looked out at the water. “Yeah...he loved to take me here. Mom preferred to stay on the porch and read a book, but she’d watch us and she loved when we caught something.”

“Do you miss him?”

He looked at her, his brooding eyes bubbling with pain, “Every day.”

She nodded and then chuckled at her first memory of him. She relayed the story to Ben,

“So when Finn and I escaped Jakku, we stole the Falcon from Unkar Plutt’s junkyard. We had no idea that it was the famous ship...we were just trying to help BB-8 get back to Poe. So, we were humming along, trying to figure out how to find him and the resistance, and there was this loud commotion that told us a ship had locked us in a tractor beam and connected with us. We hid in some panels in the floor...”

“Dad used to use those for smuggling.”

Hey, eyebrows raised in surprise as she continued. “All the sudden, instead of blasters and shouting, we heard, “Chewie...we’re home. Then, he found us of course, and he talked to us about Luke and the Force...all the stories we had heard as kids of the heroes of the galaxy. I asked if it was real...and he said, “Yeah - all of it.”

Ben was lost in listening to Rey, but that last phrase surprised him. “Really? He said that? He was never bought into the force. He said it was religious mumbo-jumbo. That is why my abilities felt so hard to him. It surprises me that he said that.”

Rey’s face was contemplative. “I think sometimes loss and regret can be great teachers of truth, don’t you think?”

Ben’s eyes got watery, and he was starting to say something else, but Rey jumped when her line tugged and she almost let go of the pole. 

“Oh...what is that? Ben...what do I do?”

“OK...first, don’t let go of the pole! Next, you want to pull back on the pole while you wind up your string. Yeah...that’s it. Keep going. Oh...Rey - I see it!”

She refused to look down over the side of the pier, so she just kept pulling and winding up. Finally, a large rainbow-hued fish flopped up on the pier.

Ben reached over to grab it and remove the hook from its mouth and then added it to a cooler box. “Nice catch Sweetheart! Beginner’s luck?”

 

She proceeded to proceeded to catch seven more...and Ben only caught one. One small one.

As they walked back to the house a few hours later, he mused, “I wonder if there is anything we can do where you won’t beat me.”

“I didn’t realize that fishing was a competition, Mr. Solo.”

“Neither did I, Mrs. Solo.”

They put all the supplies and fish away. They both went to clean up and change into fresh clothes. Ben told her he had somewhere else he wanted to take her.

They jumped in the speeder and drove just a few minutes to a little village right on the coast. As they got closer, she could see it was a market. He parked the speeder and held out his hand to help her down, but then kept her hand locked in his. 

The market had a bit of everything. There were booths with food, groceries, gifts, jewelry and all kinds of treasures. Rey had never seen anything like it. She flitted from booth to booth, asking what things were, trying out wares, and sampling food when offered. Ben followed, looking for something to delight her. He bought some candy that made her eyes light up, some more pastries, watched her carefully at the jewelry stands. Rey wasn’t a fancy woman and she had not had the opportunity to see such lovely things.

“Ben...what is this?”

She held up a bracelet made of the delicate mother of pearl from the inside of seashells. The iridescent shell pieces were fashioned in different delicate shapes and were set in gold. 

“It’s made from seashells. Tomorrow we can go look for some. They get washed in by the sea.” He took the bracelet and went to talk to the vendor. While he was occupied, she waved over the salesgirl.

“Yes, milady?”

“Do you take credits?”

Yes, ma’am, we do”

She reached into the pocket of her yellow dress and pulled out her little stash of money. 

“Can you please tell me how much those rings are?” She pointed to a simple man’s band that looked like polished obsidian. The girl told her, Rey haggled, and the deal was made. Rey slipped her purchase into her pocket. She wasn’t sure when she would give it to him, but she was glad she had a ring to give him...someday.

Ben was still wrapping up his purchase. When he was done, he brought the bracelet over to her and carefully clasped it to her wrist. She rewarded him with a huge smile. Just then, small raindrops started to fall.

Ben looked out over the sea, and his eyebrows drew together in concern.“Uh-oh...time to head back. Storms by the sea can get real serious real quick.”

They ran back to the speeder and Ben had them back to the cottage in no time. In just that short amount of time, the raindrops were more plentiful and fatter than they were moments earlier. They ran into the house, clothes damp just from the short amount of time they had been in the rain so far. He set down their packages and started opening cupboards in the kitchen till he found what he was looking for. He started pulling out candles and lanterns. 

“What are you doing?”

“It’s typical for sea storms in this area to knock out the power for a while. I’m getting emergency lights out in case we need them for light. You should go get some dry clothes on. I’m going to distribute these with lighters in all the rooms and get a few fires built. Do you know how to light these?” 

She nodded her head. “We would have sandstorms on Jakku that would last for days and we would lose power...but there was no rain, just the wind. The first time I saw rain was on Ahch-to.”

Rey quickly moved down the hall, trying not to feel apprehensive about the storm. She hated the sandstorms at home, but she was always alone. Tonight, she wasn’t alone. That brought comfort to her mind, and she quickly changed into dry pants and a loose shirt, and situated everything she needed close to the bed and sink so she wouldn’t have to search for things in the dark. 

By the time she came out, Ben had changed and he was starting the prepare the fish they caught for dinner. 

“What can I do to help?”

He gestured his head towards the root vegetables on the counter. “You can wash those up and cut them up into chunks to roast. I guess I should ask you what you like before I keep cooking things.”

She started working on the vegetables, “I have liked everything you have made so far. You are a really good cook...it would be hard not to. Besides...I wouldn’t know what to tell you. I’ve only had food besides portions in the last few months.”

She peeked up at him through her lashes and shyly smiled. He rewarded her with a kiss on the top of her head, and they settled into a companionable silence preparing the meal. 

Once the fish was prepared, seasoned, and put in the oven with the veggies, he washed his hands and turned to her. “Why don’t we go sit in the front room while we wait for that to get done?”

They settled on the couch positioned in front of the fire in the main room. She nuzzled into the corner, sinking into the generous cushions. Ben sat next to her and pulled her feet and legs up on his lap. He looked down at her toes.

“How are your toenails so pink? Is that natural?”

She laughed and shook her head. “No - Connix and your mom did that...it’s nail lacquer. I had never heard of it, but apparently, it comes in lots of colors. I’m not sure how it comes off now.”

He studied it closer. “I like it...it’s pretty.” He sensed her awkwardness and changed the subject.

“We might be stuck inside for a few days. What did you do on Jakku when storms came?”

Her eyes got distant, and the was lost in thought. “I didn’t have much to do. I lived in an old AT-AT ruin on Jakku. But as you know, I was a scavenger. I would college old electronics and gadgets that I could tinker with when I was stuck inside. I didn’t always have light, though, if the storm was long. It just left a lot of time to think.”

He started rubbing her feet absentmindedly. He tried to push comfort and compassion to her through the bond. “Well, there are things to do here when we are stuck inside, and now you are not alone.”

She started giggling and fidgeting with her feet. “Rey, are you ticklish?”

“Is that what that is called...I don’t know. It’s just when you are in the middle of my foot...but it feels good on the other parts.”

He thought that helping her discover new things and finding out all the nuances of her was going to take a lifetime. 

“What kinds of things are there to do?”

He thought for a moment and looked around the room. “Well, there are games, puzzles...books. What kinds of books do you like to read?”

 

She quickly looked down at her hands and started fidgeting with the edge of her shirt.

He tried to sense what she was feeling...and embarrassment is what was radiating off of her.

Gently he asked, “Rey...what is it?”

She kept looking down and slowly moved her head side to side. “I can speak over 200 languages and dialects, but I never learned to read or write.”

He reached over and pulled her chin up to look him in the eyes. “You don’t need to feel shame about that, Sunshine. How would you, the way you grew up? But...I can teach you. I can help you with that.”

Her watery eyes finally met his and she hiccuped, “You could?”

“Sure. I taught lots of the padawans at Luke’s academy. Many of them came from rural or difficult backgrounds, and many of them, like you, never had the chance to learn. Besides...you are bright and a quick study. I’m sure it will come easily to you.”

She smiled and nodded. 

They settled into a warm silence, looking at the fire. Ben chided himself, wondering how this wonderful woman turned out the way she did when her life had been so hard. And his growing up years, though difficult for other reasons, was one of privilege. How could someone not know what being tickled was? Unbidden, memories of Han chasing him and tackling him, tickling him until he said he yielded. He sighed deeply at the aching memory.

“What is it, Ben?”

“If would be easier to show you.” 

He invited her to come into his mind to see the memory. Her eyes widened and then softened at the sweet vision of Han playing with his son who dissolved in a fit of giggles. She nudged him with her foot. “You were REALLY ticklish.” A mischievous grin swept across her face. “Are you still?”

Ben registered too late what she was getting at. Before he knew it, she lunged at him, mimicking what she saw Han doing in the vision. He was still ticklish in his ribs, and her small fingers were able to dig in and make him squirm in ways his dad couldn’t. He was unable to contain the loud, boisterous laugh her attention produced. He couldn’t remember the last time that kind of laugh had come out of his mouth, or the last time he was tickled, and he felt weakened. Was it the tickling or her proximity? He wasn’t sure, but the combination almost rendered him with no strength. He was finally able to break free and grab her wrists. She tried to break free, but he held her fast and she was contained...against his chest...his face inches away from hers. Their gazes suddenly turned serious...his eyes shifted to her lips and her breath caught. 

Suddenly, an alarm started going off. 

He let out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. “Dinner is ready.”

She kind of shook herself out of the trance they were in and backed away. The moment was broken. Ben got up to answer the alarm, silently cursing its timing in his head.

_________________________________________

Dinner passed quickly with Rey’s yummy fish. Ben congratulated her for her fine first foray into fishing, and she was sure she’d never had a better dinner. Just as they were wrapping up, the lights went out and they were in darkness. 

Rey tried not to panic. She hated the dark. Ben made quick work about lighting the lanterns and candles, and soon the warm light chased the dark away where they were, but the rest of the house was still black. 

He sensed her anxiety and suggested a game at the table to take her mind off of it. He brought one that was easy to learn and just used dice. They played several rounds. Once she caught him cheating when the dice suspiciously flipped one more time after they had stopped rolling. She slapped his fingers that had just gestured the flip with the force.

“Ben...I saw that!”

“Saw what?”

“YOU know what!

“I really don’t.”

She raised one eyebrow and glared at him. He relented.

“Rey, have mercy. You already out-fished me today. I just wanted to end the day with a shred of my masculinity intact.”

She laughed...a laugh that turned into a yawn.

“I think it’s time to wrap this up. I’ll walk you to your room and get the lanterns in your room activated and check the fire. We don’t want to use candles overnight, but the charge in the lanterns should last until morning at least.”

He grabbed the lantern on the counter with one hand, and her hand with the other. The light cast just enough lumination to see a few feet in front of them. When they got to her room, the fireplace was still lit, though low, so he added more fuel. He activated one lantern by her bed and showed her how to dim it so it wasn’t too bright for sleeping, and then one in her fresher so she could find what she needed in the night.

“Goodnight Rey...are you going to be OK?”

She nodded and raised her chin at the end, steeling herself for it to be so. He felt her fear in the bond, but hugged her and left for his room.

He shut his door and sank on the bed. It seemed like every day he learned something new about the lonely existence Rey had lived till now. The things she should have known and learned, things a family brought. I washed him all over again in shame for how he pushed away his own. When she didn’t know what tickling was and admitted to not knowing how to read...it just wrecked him. It was things like this that brought a wave of protection and care in him he never thought he was capable of. He carried the lantern to the bathroom to brush his teeth and ready for bed. He disrobed and pulled on his sleeping pants. 

Finally, in bed, he drifted off to sleep watching the embers in the fire and wondered what he would learn new about his wife tomorrow.

_____________________________

Not much later, Ben awoke to a flash of lightning and then a loud clap of thunder. He felt fear washing over him, but quickly realized it wasn’t his own. It was her...she was terrified. Without thinking, he jumped out of bed and ran to her room.

The lantern and subdued fire showed him what he felt in the bond all over her face. Tears were streaming down, and her eyes were huge.

He softly called out to her, not wanting to startle her more. “Rey...honey….it’s me. You are OK.”

She frantically reached for him. “Ben...wha-wha-what IS that?!?!”

He remembered back to their earlier conversation about storms on Jakku, and how she said there was no rain, just wind. It rained on Ahch-to, but not a storm this intense. Realization hit him. He reached out to grab her frantic hands, continuing his soft tone and willing soothing thoughts into the bond. 

“Sweetheart, it’s just thunder and lightning. It happens sometimes with bad storms. It won’t hurt you...it’s just loud.”

She nodded in understanding, but then jumped when it happened again. She clenched his hands with a death grip. “Please don’t leave me.”

His mouth went dry. He clarified, “Rey...are you wanting me to stay in here tonight?”

She nodded quickly. He looked down at his attire.

“Um...this is how I sleep...do you want me to get a shirt? A cowl?” He teased, trying to bring a smile to her face.

She shook her head. “N-n-n-o...it’s ok. Please just don’t leave.”

He lowered himself to the bed and laid next to her. She scooted forward and buried her face in his chest. He willed his breathing and heart rate to slow. He could feel hers racing too, but not for the same reasons. He tucked her head under his chin and draped his arm across her shoulders. After a few more jolts of loud weather, it started to slow down a bit, and she fell asleep. 

Ben was awake for a while. He could feel her warm, even breath against his neck and her warm body snuggled against his...it was doing things to him he had a hard time calming down. Eventually, he was able to still his thoughts and body and was able to fall asleep. He couldn’t ever remember feeling so content as the feeling of falling asleep with Rey in his arms.


	9. Bonding

Rey woke first and sleepily wondered why she felt so warm. It wasn’t a bad warm, rather one that dug up into her heart and felt like...home. Her eyes fluttered open, and she saw skin. Her head was up against his bare chest. She moved slowly, taking the opportunity to look at Ben closely in the morning light without being observed. His chest, abdomen, and arms were riddled with scars. Some had healed well, and some healed raw and ragged. His chest seemed impossibly large and his muscled stomach was still solid but significantly narrower. She had never seen anyone built like him. She turned her attention to his face.

 

She wasn’t sure what people thought was attractive. Well, she knew that most of the girls in the resistance thought Poe was handsome...and he was, but Ben’s features were beautiful to her and seemed to sink down into her soul. His dark full lashes hiding the chocolate brown orbs she knew were there, the high cheekbones, and his full, soft lips. His eyes and his lips had always seemed out of place to her. They were too sensitive for the hard image he tried to portray as Kylo Ren. Maybe that is why he hid behind his mask. They betrayed him every time.

 

She turned her head back down and closed her eyes, enjoying the moments before he was awake. She could hear the rain still coming down outside and thunder in the distance, but the worst of the storm seemed to have passed. She realized that she hadn’t had any bad dreams. She wondered if sleeping so close to Ben and his presence in the force was part of that. She took in the feel of his hand guarding her back. She knew how to protect herself, but she was relishing in the feeling of safety she felt in Ben’s arms.

 

She belonged to someone. That was starting to sink in. He was so gentle and attentive to her...she didn’t know this is what it would feel like to be married to Ben.

 

She felt him start to stir. His arms tightened around her and he rolled from his back towards her on his side. His eyes were still closed, but a soft smile broke out across his face.

 

“Hello, wife.”

 

“Hello, husband.”

 

He leaned over to kiss the top of her head, then finally his eyes opened but were hooded and lazy.

 

“Did you sleep ok?”

 

She nodded. “No more nightmares. I was just wondering if it’s because of our bond and sleeping close to you.”

 

He looked thoughtful, contemplating his words as he spoke. “Me too. When Snoke was alive, he often manipulated my dreams, and they were not pleasant. Since he’s been gone, I have been left with the memories of all the things I have done that haunt my dreams, and that hasn’t been pleasant either.”

 

“Do you think our force bond is protecting our minds as we sleep close?”

 

“Hmm...not sure. I guess time will tell, but I can’t remember when I last slept so well.”

 

Suddenly, Rey’s stomach growled.

 

He smiled. “I guess we better see what we can feed that insatiable stomach of yours.” He reluctantly gave her a quick hug and hopped out of bed. Since she went out in her nightshirt the first day, she just followed him and didn’t feel the need to change first.

 

She found him in the kitchen, leaning over fridge pulling out ingredients to fix. She was suddenly hit with the expanse of his back, and she tried not to stare at his muscles there flexing with his every move. Maybe she should have had him put on a shirt last night. It was making her feel flustered.

 

She turned and started making the caf to distract herself.

 

Ben turned around with the last of the food he pulled out and took in her lovely form, long legs highlighted as she stretched up on her toes to get the ingredients in the cupboard for the caf. He felt like living close to Rey and then sleeping close to her last night, but not touching her the way his body was screaming for was like some sort of crazy punishment for his past sins. A terribly sweet, tantalizing punishment he was willing to take.

 

He cleared his throat. “Um...I didn’t get a chance to ask yesterday, but how do you like your eggs?”

 

She shrugged her shoulders. “On the base, they made them the way you did. That is fine. What other way is there?”

 

“Actually, lots of ways. Are you up for trying something new?”

 

Her eyes lit up and she nodded. “Always!”

 

Ben started to work on some fried eggs that were just slightly soft in the center. He toasted some of the buns he bought at the market the day before and whipped up a butter sauce. He added some bacon and a leaf of lettuce.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Dad called them a breakfast sandwich. We could eat them quickly, but they are a little messy. Be sure to lean over your plate.”

 

“So you just pick it up with your hands? That is OK? I thought you were supposed to eat with utensils?”

 

He smiled. “Usually, yes, but some foods are meant to be eaten with your hands. I know...it’s confusing.” He showed her, picking it up and getting a bite. She followed his lead and sunk her teeth into it.

 

It was good.

 

“I wonder if everything will always taste so good, or if it’s just like this now since I’m not used to things?”

 

“Could be...but you are a girl who likes her food. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a female eat as much as you do...even Phasma. And she is a large woman!”

 

She took another bite and glanced at him sideways. “Don’t make me tickle you again, Solo.” She turned to look him with a gleam in her eyes. “Now I know your true weakness. Who knew I could have just tickled you instead of dueling with you.”

 

He laughed out loud and hard at that. When he caught his breath, he said, “Life is never going to be boring with you, is it?.”

 

It was a good start to the day.

_______________________________

 

After they got breakfast cleaned up and got dressed, Ben suggested starting her reading lessons. He had been hoping to teach her to swim today, but with it still storming he needed an alternate activity. His brain needed to focus on something. Otherwise, his imagination was making suggestions, and he just couldn’t let those thoughts run wild just yet.  _ Patience, Ben! _

 

He had located a few children’s books that had the alphabet and a couple of simple storybooks with basic words that were a good start. He was right--Rey picked it up quickly. By late morning she was haltingly reading the simple sentences in the story. Her brows furrowed in intensity and concentration. Her jaw was set in determination. He encouraged her when she got frustrated and radiated with pride when he saw the light come on in understanding. 

 

When she finished the first book, her face just lit up and she reached out to hug him.

 

“Thank you, Ben. Thank you.”

 

“I told you it would be easy for you.”

 

“Well...I needed a teacher,” she whispered into his ear. 

 

He chuckled and pulled back, looking into he face. “I told you I could teach you.”

 

She rolled her eyes and tickled him. 

 

_______________________________

 

After a midday snack, the day passed in more reading, games and a few puzzles Ben had rounded up.  He also found some art supplies. That caught Rey’s attention.

 

“What is that?”

 

“It’s things that people paint and draw with. Have you done that before?”

 

“On Jakku, I would find charcoal and use some dyes, but I’ve never seen these kinds of supplies before. May I use them?”

 

“Of course! What do you like to draw?”

 

“Well...usually just things that I saw around. Ships, animals...some people. I’m not very good, but I enjoy it. I think I’d like to try to paint the ocean.” She peered outside and frowned. “Well...maybe after this storm clears and I can see it again.”

 

“Usually they just last a couple of days. I think it might clear by tomorrow or the next day. At least the thunder and lightning stopped. You should sleep better tonight.” He gave her a reassuring smile.

 

She looked like she almost said something, then closed her mouth and busied herself with the puzzle boxes. Her apt mind was so good at figuring things out, and she enjoyed working on the puzzle.

 

It also took her mind off of what she almost said to Ben...that she liked when he was in the room at night...that she liked the feeling his warm body next to hers, and she didn’t want him to go back to his room. She didn’t say it, and she stuffed down the thoughts so he didn’t sense them. They lingered safely behind a wall in her mind along with all the other blossoming feelings she was having for him. 

 

She could tell he cared and wanted more...but she was scared. There was a part of her that wanted it too...but then the fear would rise and she would retreat. He was living up to his word and was being patient and careful with her, and if just made her heart lean towards him more.

 

_____________________________

 

After dinner, they were sitting on the couch, munching on some of the sweets they had gotten at the market. He was rubbing her feet again, being careful not to stray into her ticklish zones lest she retaliates. She was looking at his hands compared to her feet and realized palm to tip they were longer than her feet. Yet, they were gentle and protective of her. She sighed happily.

 

“Ben Solo, you can do that every day for the rest of our lives.”

 

He just smiled and wondered if she realized that the foot massages gave him the excuse to have long periods of time to touch her. She reminded him of a spooked animal that needed a cautious, steady hand to get used to. So, he indulged and enjoyed getting to touch Rey...any part of Rey...that she was comfortable with.

 

He sensed a more serious tone to her line of thoughts before she spoke. 

 

“Ben...the other day, when you called me Lady Rey, what did you mean by there were things to talk about?”

 

He silently wondered if he could tickle her feet to avoid the conversation. It’s not that is was bad or unpleasant, he just wasn’t sure what to say.

 

“Well...Hux and I have been talking...about the future. Trying to figure out the next steps. This treaty changes things. The First Order’s business has been war, and it’s not really a profitable business. Now, we aren’t at war...so what does that mean. There are lots of things up in the air right now.”

 

“How does that affect a title for me?”

 

He thought for a minute. “Rey, do you understand all of Leia’s background?”

 

“The general? I guess not...I haven’t known her very long.”

 

“Well, Leia has also been a senator, so she was a politician. But, she also has ties to royalty on two planets. Her mother was the Queen of Naboo, and her adopted family were royalty on Alderaan--now New Alderaan. Technically, she was the queen of New Alderaan, but she abdicated to lead the Resistance.  She is still considered royalty on Naboo also. Which, makes me part of that too...technically a prince in both places. Then, in the First Order, I’m recognized currently as Supreme Leader...but that has too many ties to Snoke. So, I’m not sure where we are headed, you are titled regardless of where we land.”

 

She was pensive for a moment. “Your grandmother...the one from Naboo, is that Padmé?”

 

“Yes. She secretly married Anakin. Jedi were forbidden from getting married or having relationships, so their relationship was covert.”

 

“Oh...that would be hard to love someone and keep it a secret.”

 

Ben almost laughed, feeling like he was in a similar situation. 

 

“That is where Leia got the clothes I’ve been wearing.”

 

His head whipped up in surprise. “Really...they were Padmé’s?” He wasn’t sure what he felt about that, but he liked her in the clothes. It was nice to see her in things that were feminine.

 

She nodded. “Yes, there wasn’t time to get anything else, and they were stored well enough and they are beautiful…”

 

“They are nice...and you look lovely in them. But you deserve to have your own beautiful things. We will take care of that on Coruscant.”

 

“Oh...I don’t need anything else, Ben. These clothes work. They are the finest things I’ve ever had. You don’t need to waste credits on anything else.”

 

“They are...but they are over fifty years old, and you deserve to have things of your own. Besides, you have virtually unlimited resources now.”

 

Her brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean.”

 

“Sweetheart, I just explained that I am royalty on two planets and the Supreme Leader. And, my father was a very successful smuggler. I have more credits that anyone could use in a lifetime. I could buy you hundreds of dresses a day for the rest of your life and never use it all.”

 

Her mouth formed a small O, trying to take his words in. It was too much. How could she come from her scavenger past into all of that? It was unfathomable.

 

She finally softly said, “It would be nice to do something and not just keep it all for ourselves.”

 

She was killing him. Her physical beauty was one thing, but the tender heart she had for others and how willing she was to help people, no matter the cost to her just slayed him. How someone like him had wound up with someone like her was a mystery--thank the force.

 

He pulled her over closer, “I think it would be a fantastic idea to do something special. Why don’t you think about what kinds of things you would like to do and we can make a list.” He pulled her hand to his lips and just rested it there, drinking her smell in.

 

She rewarded him with a smile, and her heart’s door cracked open a bit more. She got brave.

 

“Ben...I...uh...really felt safe with you there last night. I’ve been alone my whole life, and I liked not waking up alone. I don’t think I’m ready for the other stuff yet, but would it be OK for us to sleep in my room from now on? Together?”

 

“You are sure that is what you want?”

 

She nodded shyly. “I trust you, Ben.”

 

She scooted forward and rested her head on his chest. The power was still out, and only had the fireplace was lit. She couldn’t see the holo, but she could tell it was getting late. She stifled a yawn.

 

He felt it but didn’t feel sleepy himself yet. He had an idea.

 

“Hey...when my parents were teaching me to read, they read books to me a lot. That is supposed to help. What if we go get ready for bed and then I can read to you till you fall asleep?”

 

She sat up and her face was lit up at that idea. “What would you read?”

 

Well...there are all kinds of things over there. He stood up and turned on the light by the bookshelves. He looked them over and picked a few for her to choose from, tucking them under his arm.

 

“C’mon sleepyhead. Let’s go. He walked to her room...their room...and set the books on the nightstand. 

 

He turned to her. “I’m going to go across the hall to get ready for bed. I think keeping our own bathrooms, for now, is still a good idea. I’ll come back in a few. I want to ask, though, do you want me to wear a shirt?”

 

“Do you normally?”

 

“No...I don’t. In fact, sometimes I don’t wear pants either.”

 

“Oh...OH!” Her cheeks turned a bright pink. “I think just pants are fine. I like your chest.”

 

This was new information. He searched her eyes. They were honest, but a bit embarrassed. “Is this because of that bond moment on Ahch-to?”

 

She smiled and shrugged. “Maybe...partly. I just liked waking up on it today.”

 

He silently wondered if he could always get away with not wearing a shirt. Probably not. That would get weird.

 

“OK...I’ll be back soon...in pants.”

 

He didn’t really exhale until he got to his fresher. She liked his chest. He tried to wipe the smile off his face that brought. It brought other feelings too, but then multiple times a day, other feelings came about Rey. He found he was using his Jedi mind control exercises more than he ever had. He wondered how non-force users survived.

 

When he got back, she was just wrapping up in the fresher. He laid on “his” side and started sorting the books he selected. One was an adventure book, and one was a romantic fairy tale. He picked the latter--a guy could use all the help he could get when he’s trying to woo his wife.

 

She slid down onto the bed and moved closer to him to see the book, resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped that arm around her and held the book in the other hand and began.

 

She liked the sound of his reading voice, the deep timbre seeming even deeper when her head was resting on him. She also liked the story of the young woman that loved her father so much she was willing to sacrifice herself to save him, taking his place as the Beast's prisoner. She drifted off to sleep, wondering how the story was going to go.

 

________________________________

 

The next morning, Ben awoke first and tried to be still. His first thought was that he was pleased that Rey had asked him to stay from now on and how much he loved waking up next to her. His second thought was that while he slept, his mind control dipped in its effectiveness, and in the morning after her body snuggled next to his all night, his body was rebelling. 

 

“Get it together, Solo” he chided himself. He couldn’t afford the mental space at the moment to ponder why he called himself Solo.

 

When he peeked through his lashes, he saw she was asleep on his bicep, so he felt relief that he had time to bring his control back. He tried to be still and not wake her up so he could observe her without her feeling self-conscious.

 

She was lovely. Her smooth skin with the freckles dusted across her pert nose. Her expressive eyes and eyebrows were dormant currently but often were alive with joy and excitement. Sometimes they were drawn in frustration or embarrassment. Her graceful neck that trailed down to her chest...

 

No. He was committed to his promise to her that they would only move at her pace, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to control the urges that threatened to take over. 

 

In her sleep, she rolled over and flung an arm and leg across his body. He swallowed hard and entered a meditative state demanding that his blood flow redirect and obey. It wasn’t quite in time.

 

By the time she stirred awake, her leg brushed over his failed attempt for control. Her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes held questions when they opened. 

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I’m...I’m sorry, Rey. I’m not always able to control that.”

 

She looked confused, not understanding all that he was trying to get across.

 

He tried again, “When I sleep, my mind-control lags. I’m not able to control my body as well, and it reacts to sleeping close to my beautiful wife.”

 

He saw the realization dawn on her face and the normal blush rise under her freckles. “Oh.”

 

Those sparkly golden-green orbs of hers bored into his, waffling between embarrassment and...pity? He wasn’t sure.

 

_ I’m sorry Ben...I didn’t know. I…I... _

 

_ Sweetheart...really, I’m sorry...and embarrassed. It’s not your fault. _

 

Her eyes held his and were pained.

 

_ It is...my fault. You are being patient with what I need, but what about what you need Ben? _

 

He needed to change the topic. He couldn’t continue down this line of conversation with her.

 

_ Are you ready for breakfast? _

 

With her slow nod, he jumped up and fled the room.


	10. Inception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a shift, people....a shift.
> 
> I think this still fits teen & up. I tried to keep it PG-13. I welcome input if there is disagreement on that!

It rained another two days. They had settled into a comfortable rainy-day routine. They laughed and talked, and Rey fell asleep in his arms every night. In spite of his renegade emotions, that one-morning “incident,” and the havoc it played on his body having her tucked up into him every night, Ben kept his word. He learned about how she mumbled in her sleep, and how when she stretched upon waking she made cute groans he tried not to think too much about.

Finally, on the seventh day of their honeymoon, the sun was shining. As they ate breakfast, Rey was quiet. Ben thought about probing to see if she was ok, but he resisted and just waited. It didn’t take long.

“I’m wondering something...and I want to ask you about it. It’s about the First Order...is that OK?”

He felt himself grow tense. He wasn’t sure what she wanted to know, but bringing up that felt like a reality check to the fantasyland he felt like he was currently residing in. But he nodded for her to continue.

“What are you going to do now? You mentioned before that the war is over...what happens now?”

“The truth...I’m not sure.” He rubbed his stubbly chin as he looked out the window. “I actually have Hux looking through our troop records right now, looking for trends of skills and experience to see if that will tell a story. I think there might be some clues there. As far as the Supreme Leader thing...I’m not sure”

Rey’s eyes flew to his face in surprise. “You’re not? Why? I thought that is what you wanted?”

He looked at her, his uncertainty and vulnerability on display. “Initially, I need to be around. If not, there would be a leadership vacuum, and who knows where that would lead. I think it’s time to reinstitute democracy in the galaxy. It didn’t work before, because Palpatine was manipulating it all. I think if the one who has control of the universe’s troops is the one promoting the idea with integrity, there might be better results. I also think that the Jedi order at the time was flawed.”

Her eyes were soft looking at him...he saw her approval on display in them. “I agree. I’ve been thinking through what Luke told me in my time with him, and what I understand from him and Leia about Anakin. I think to forbid people from meaningful connections with people is damaging. Whether that is love, or taking force-sensitive children from their parents...it seems like those things just invite the dark to flourish.”

“It does. And it leaves people vulnerable.”

She gently placed her hand on his upper thigh and said, “like a little boy being manipulated by Snoke.”

His eyes got glassy, “Yeah...like that.”

“Hmmm...where does that leave us? Where do we fit in all of this?”

“Well….again….I’m not sure. I have my titles. In the short-term, I would like to be a player in and encourage the establishment of a democracy again for the galaxy long-term, but I don’t have much of a long-game stomach for politics.”

“Me either.”

“We might need to for a while, though...to make sure peace can be established.”

She nodded in agreement.

His thoughts changed. She noticed the shift and looked at him, and noticed him looking down at her hand at the top of his thigh. 

“You know, you have done that before.”

“I’ve done what before?”

“Had your hand there on my leg...in that spot.”

She was confused. “When was this.”

“When we fought Snoke’s guards. You leaned back against me and grabbed my thigh for leverage. You don’t remember?”

She softly shook her head. “You do? I remember the fight, but don’t remember that. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the force flow through me like that. It was….”

“Amazing. In balance” he finished.

She looked at him in wonder, “Yeah...in balance. We moved like we were one being.”

Things were shifting, Ben thought. He was pleased, but still cautious.

“Do you want to learn to swim today?”

She seemed startled at the turn in the conversation, but her face then lit up once she processed his question. “Yes! Absolutely”

“Do you have a swimsuit?”

“Leia said she packed something for me...so I think so.”

“Ok...why don’t you go get ready and I’ll clean up in here.”

She didn’t need to be told twice. She leaped from the chair and ran to her room in excitement. 

He tried not to notice how empty and cold his leg felt.

She had dreamed of water for as long as she could remember...swimming in it was just the next level of bliss. She located the trunk Leia had sent with her and searched for….well….she wasn’t sure what she was searching for. What did a swimsuit look like? She saw clothing and undergarments...nothing else stuck out.

“BEN!”

He must have already been heading her direction because he was in the doorway immediately. 

She turned and asked, “What does a swimsuit look like?” 

He saw her brow furrowed in confusion. He had seen that a lot in the past few days. His heart ached for how much newness she was just taking in. It had to be exhausting.

“Well, there are different kinds. I’m not sure what Mom would have given you.” Please don’t let it be the gold bikini….please don’t let it be the gold bikini… 

He shook his head and cleared his throat. “May I?”

She saw him point to her clothing and nodded. He started moving the fabric around. He picked up a scrap of silky lace and too late realized it for what it was before flinging it back like it burned him. He tried unsuccessfully to push down the flush that crept up to his ears. Finally, he saw some green fabric that looked like the type of material swimsuits were typically made of. He held up a modest one-piece suit that looked like a tank and shorts combined.

“That is it?” she asked incredulously. “I thought that was some kind of bodysuit/underwear thingy.”

He chuckled. “Nope--this is your suit.”

“People wear that outside? In public?”

“Actually Rey, this is pretty modest. Many women wear much smaller suits...or nothing at all.”

Her mouth dropped open in shock before closing in determination as she grabbed the suit. “This will do,” she said as she stalked off to the fresher. Suddenly, she stuck her head out.

“What are you going to wear?”

He couldn’t stop himself. “You’ll see,” he said as he winked and walked out of the room.

Rey went back to the fresher and looked at the garment again, shaking her head. She had never been in front of anyone in such a small amount of clothes, especially BEN, but she really wanted to go swimming. Resigned, she got undressed and pulled the offending piece on. It was a lovely jade green, which she liked, and once it was on it didn’t look quite as small as she thought it would since it stretched. The body wasn’t too bad, and the neck just had a modest scoop. But, the shorts were snug and she just wasn’t used to seeing her body exposed like that. And her arms and legs...stars….

She found a button-up tunic and threw it on over the top, trying for a little more coverage before leaving the room.

She stepped out into the hallway and saw Ben waiting for her in the front room. She stopped dead cold. He was wearing shorts, not much longer or much looser than the bottom of her suit, and that’s it. Is that what men wore? She had never seen his legs uncovered. They were like tree trunks. There was so much skin...and muscles. She knew he had them, but she hadn’t quite seen them all at once like this. Why did she feel so warm? She knew her face was crimson.

He turned and saw her, smirking as he pulled on a black T-shirt. He grabbed a few towels and held out some sort of shoe to her. 

“We wear these slippers to the beach when the sun is hot to keep the sand from burning your feet. I think these ones will fit you.” He dropped them in front of her and motioned for her to slide them on. She noticed that he had some on too...somehow it had escaped her attention that he was wearing shoes. Her face reddened again when she remembered why.

They stepped out on the porch, and he motioned to a sand dune the opposite direction of the pier. “The bay is just on the other side of that--just a short walk. Are you ready?”

She nodded, the excitement over swimming bubbling up to recede the uncomfortableness of the last few minutes.

They walked in silence for a bit. “Who taught you to swim? Han?”

He shook his head. “No...Mom did. That was our thing when we came here. I would fish with him and swim with her. He came too sometimes, he just didn’t like it as much as we did.”

“How old were you when you learned?”

“Actually, too young to remember. I have vague memories...maybe 3 or 4?”

She squinted up at him with a cheeky smile, “Are you sure you know how to teach me then?”

He smiled and shrugged his big shoulders. “I guess we will find out then...huh?”

Just then they rounded the crest of the dune and the bay was in view. Rey stopped, her breath caught in her throat. The white sand spilled down to meet aquamarine waters. Since there were no real waves, the rippling clear water showed everything beneath the surface. The deeper the water got, the more brilliant its hue became. Her eyes teared up, and she didn’t think she had ever seen anything so beautiful.

Ben realized she had stopped and turned, taking in the awe on her face and her glistening eyes. He wished that the storm hadn’t prevented them from coming here till now. He stepped back, raising his hand to cup her cheek and used his thumb to wipe away the moisture starting to spill out of her eyes. He walked around her, standing right behind her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her back against him, tucking her head under his chin. No words, he just held her for a minute, drinking in her closeness while he took in the view too, trying to take it in through her eyes. It was stunning.

She raised her hands up to his arm and just held on. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

They stayed that way for a few more minutes. He moved his head so he could whisper right into her ear. “Are you ready to get in?”

His breath across her ear startled her….woke her. Little shivers broke out where his breath had touched and splintered out across her neck and shoulder. She realized where she was, and who was holding her. She turned to face him and nodded, her eyes lingering on his lips for just a second. Then, a grin broke out across her face and she turned and ran down to the shoreline.

He sauntered down to follow her, wishing with a sigh that the moment could have lasted just a bit longer. 

Rey kicked off her sandshoes and pulled off her cover-up shirt, turning to face the water. Ben swallowed hard, trying not to notice her lovely form in the suit. This patience thing was getting tough. He pulled off his t-shirt and dropped it in the sand near the towels and her things. He took her hand and drew her into the water.

“OK...first, I want you to know that I will always be right here, I’m not going to let anything happen to you, ok?” After she nodded, he continued. “I am going to take you out just a bit further, where the water comes to your shoulders--shallow enough for you to touch, but deep enough where you can learn to float.”

At that, he pulled her in deeper. He stopped and she realized that water hitting her shoulders meant it hit at his waist. Here in the water with so much of him showing, she was amazed at just how large and powerful he was. She felt completely safe with him. That realization quelled the nervousness in her mind about being in the water and she relaxed.

“OK...I’m going to put my arms behind your back and pull you up to help you float. Your legs will come up, but I’ve got you.”

She eagerly nodded. “I trust you, Ben.”

Her words shot straight to his heart. It seemed each day he was a little more amazed at how his relationship with this woman had changed and how far they had come. 

He reached down and scooped her up, placing one hand under her middle back and one under her thighs.

“When you take a breath and hold it, it will help your body float. You won’t always have to do that, but in the beginning, it will help you get the feel of it.”

She closed her eyes and relaxed. All the tension left her body and she fully leaned on the water and Ben’s arms. With her eyes closed, he felt free to allow his eyes drink in her lovely face. She looked so peaceful. He bounced her gently on his arms, testing her buoyancy. 

“You are doing well, Rey. Relaxing helps. Now, I want you to focus on allowing your arms and legs to float freely. Don’t try to control them...just allow them to rise.”

“Can I use the force?”

“Isn’t that cheating?” he teased. Then he thought about it. “Actually, maybe meditating in the force will help.”

He could tell when she did because the little furrow of concentration between her eyebrows disappeared. The look of serenity on her face was spellbinding. He felt her start to float up from his hands. He let her be for a minute.

Softly he said, “Rey...you are doing it. You are doing it by yourself.”

His words broke her concentration, and her legs kicked back down to support herself. “I did? I did?” she squealed and jumped towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug and he wrapped his arms around her back to hug her back.

The mood turned from playful to serious in a flash. Suddenly, she was aware of how close they were, and that the thin layer of her swimsuit was all that separated their chests as she held her body close to him with her arms around his neck. She felt warm again, in spite of the cool water. Her eyes were looking right at the center of his chest. She let out the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding and felt Ben’s body quiver. She wanted to look up at him but was conflicted too. If she did, she knew what would happen. Arms still around his neck, his still around her, she warred with herself about what to do. If she looked up, things were going to shift. She was enjoying how easy things were between them...but she realized that she wanted more. So she inhaled...and chose the shift.

Her eyes slowly raised up to his. It didn’t take much...his head was lowered and his gaze was already on her. His eyes were soft and were reflecting the sunlight dancing off the water, drops of water clinging to his dark lashes. His soft full lips were there, beckoning her. Waiting for her. He didn’t move.

It was Rey that pulled herself up from the water to meet his lips. At first, they were gentle and whispering on hers. Slowly, he drew her in deeper, taking over the pace of the embrace. More pressure, more intensity, his tongue seeking hers...this was different than their other chaste kisses. His arms tightened around her, crushing her to his chest while supporting her ability to stay at his level. She stifled a moan from just the sheer pleasure of being kissed so soundly and the feeling of his body against hers. She reciprocated. Their mouths were engaged in a dance...several minutes different rhythms moving across their senses. Finally, she pulled back, resting her forehead against his, breathing heavy and chills sparking up her spine.

“I...I didn’t know it could feel like that.” She whispered.

“Me neither.” He answered, equally struggling to take in enough air.

She pulled to the side and forward, whispering in his ear. “I liked it, but it scared me a bit too.”

He gently pushed her until her face was in front of him again. His large hands carefully brushed the wet strands of hair out of her face. “Rey, I told you that we won’t do anything unless you want to.”

She looked up at him. “What about you.”

“What about me.”

“What do you want. What about what you need?”

He shut his mouth, his jaw twitching for control. He brought his hands up to cup the back of her neck. He looked her in the eye. “Rey, we have talked about this. I think you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I adore your tender heart, and how you never give up on people. You never gave up on me. I want you in a way I have never experienced before. But I meant what I said...I want you to be ready. I don’t want you in fear….I want you to desire me and choose for us to be together like that. When you are ready for more, I am ready for you.”

“But….I don’t know...I...I’ve never…” her voice trailed off….

“Rey, I haven’t either. When you make that choice...it’s just us. There never has been and never will be anyone for me but you.”

Her hands had come up to hold only his wrists as he held her. She nodded and blushed at his declaration. The proximity and moment were too much to resist, and Ben finally leaned forward and kissed her flushed freckles. One kiss on each side. Then he pulled her close to a hug. 

“I have wanted to do that for a really long time.”

She hugged him back and was sure she was even more flushed. 

He broke the hug and put his hands on her shoulders, bringing distance between them. “Now, for the next part of your lesson.”

The mood transitioned, and the next few hours brought Rey success in her efforts. By the time their stomachs rumbled in hunger, she was swimming on her own. Nervously, staying close to Ben, but on her own. They jumped out of the water to dry off and head up to the house.

Rey was lost in her thoughts, careful to shield them from Ben. She felt like today was magical. Finally learning how to swim, the ease of spending time with Ben...that heart-stopping kiss. Thinking about it again made her heart flutter. But then the touch of fear brushed up against her again. What was she afraid of? She trusted him like she had never trusted anyone. Even if he tried pretense with her, she would know because of the bond. She knew he cared about her...and he’d been so patient with her. He was showing his behavior to be the opposite of what Connix described in their “wifely duties” chat. He was gentle and attentive, not demanding or forceful. She had nothing to fear. What was holding her back?

Loneliness, she finally identified. The fear of being lonely again, and the depth of it she would feel if they crossed that line and then he was gone. She was afraid of getting close and then losing him. He’d promised her she would never be alone if they got married...but that was her fear. She slowly tied that fear to her trust of Ben. She lectured the fear on what he had proven so far. She fought it, much the way she would have sparred with someone, jabbing the truth of who he was and who he was becoming into each blade of panic that arose. 

She reached out and grabbed Ben’s free hand, intertwining her fingers with his. He smiled down at her, and they continued their trek back without words.

Once they were in the house, they kicked off their shoes and just stood on the porch for a minute. Suddenly he asked, “Rey, have you ever taken a bath?”

She slowly shook her head. 

He pulled on their still entwined hands. “C’mon.”

He led her the fresher off of their room. He showed her how to plug the tub and adjust the water temperature. He showed her the salts and oils she could add if she liked. He kissed her forehead and rubbed her arms and shoulders. “Enjoy...I will have lunch ready in about 30 minutes.”

Then he left and shut the door. 

Rey looked at her reflection in the mirror. Today there was another tremor in what she knew. Something shifted in her heart and let more of Ben in. She almost asked him to stay just now. It was on the tip of her tongue, but she faltered. Her thoughts were jumbled as she peeled off her suit and stepped into the warm water. 

The combination of the warm water against the cool skin and the jasmine fragrance she added to the water was heady. She allowed herself to alternate between sinking and floating, practicing what she learned. She decided baths would be added to her list of favorite things. She relaxed in the water a bit more, then set about the task of cleaning up and washing her hair.

She pulled the drain out like Ben instructed and grabbed her soft, fluffy towel. She went to the closet and selected a simple silky turquoise dress with wide straps and no sleeves that fell to her calves. It was flowy from the shoulders with an open back. It reminded her of the color of the sea. She left her hair down to dry and headed down the hall. 

Ben was in the kitchen working on lunch. He was showered and dressed in grey pants and a navy blue loose-fitting shirt. He had made some sandwiches and had some of the native fruits out too. He looked at her and his breath hitched, taking in how the color of her dress complimented the sun-kissed glow of her skin, still flushed from her warm bath. He willed his heart to beat normally again. “How was it?”

She sighed in contentment. “Can I do that every day?”

He smiled. “I think you need to start keeping a list of the things you want to do every day...it keeps growing.”

She giggled. “This looks amazing...I’m starving!”

He grabbed the plates and headed out to the table on the front porch. 

“We haven’t been able to eat out here because of the bad weather, but I love sitting here where you can enjoy the scenery.”

Rey’s eyes took in the landscape and agreed. “It’s lovely.”

He pulled out her seat for her to sit. “You worked up an appetite today. You did great.”

She rewarded that comment with a brilliant smile. He had always found her distractingly lovely, but the combination of the color she was wearing with her tanned skin and sparkling eyes took his breath away.

She looked at his face and wrinkled her nose. “You look a little pink on your nose.”

He nodded, “Yeah...I definitely got some color today. The Supreme Leader isn’t quite so pale.”

She snort-laughed at that.

Their lunch passed in easy conversation and teasing. After seconds, Rey was finally satisfied. She rested against the back of her seat, enjoying the sea breeze dancing across her skin.

“So, Mrs. Solo. What are your plans for the afternoon?”

“Painting, I think, Mr. Solo. I want to try to paint the bay while it’s still in my mind. How about you?”

It was actually hard for Ben to think about what he would do. He was a man of action, not of leisure, and if he wasn’t doing something with Rey he felt at a loss here.

“I’m not sure….I will find something to do. Probably read.”

She nodded and started to get up. 

“Would you like me to move the paint stuff out here? The lighting is better here than inside.”

She nodded in pleasure and went to start gathering what she needed.

He got the easel and one of the stools from the kitchen to set up her “studio” on the porch next to the table. She set out the paints and brushes. She turned to him as he was straightening back up from adjusting the easel and kissed his cheek. 

“Thank you.”

He grabbed her hand and raised it to his lips. “You’re welcome.”

She sat in the chair he set up and started getting the colors out she wanted. Ben looked back over his shoulder at her. Something was different with her..something that wasn’t there before.

He went inside, grabbed a book and positioned himself on the couch where he could watch her, but the sun glaring on the window meant she couldn’t see him. The afternoon light lit her up from the other side, highlighting her hair and skin. Her straight back was regal in its carriage. He could see her bare back muscles flexing as her arms moved about. He was mesmerized by the grace of her movements and concentration. He couldn’t see her work...just her. She bit her lower lip in concentration. Her movements were certain and skeptical at the same time as she wrestled with her art.

His self-control slipped for just a moment, and he felt his body respond. He brought his hand to his chest, placing it over his aching heart. “Force….help the boy.”

He also got an idea...a gift for Rey that he’d need some help for. He grabbed his holopad to set his plan in motion...

_____________________________

The afternoon passed in lazy golden sunlight. She wouldn’t let him see her work in progress. He noticed through dinner and the evening that she touched him more. A hand on his arm here, leaning on his shoulder there. Nothing huge...just subtle moments, but the collective felt significant. They spent time on the couch with her nestled in his side as he read her more of the book. She absentmindedly played with his hair as he read. She asked questions about the budding relationship between the girl and the beast. There had been a shift in the characters’ relationship that moved them from enemies to friends. Rey didn’t know a lot about such things, but she was sure the beast loved the girl and it seemed her heart was starting to turn too. They laughed and talked over dinner.

As they went to their respective freshers to ready for bed, Rey found herself wrapped in a dilemma. Hanging on the towel rack were two options: the nightshirt she had been wearing, and the filmy, creamy, lacy nightgown Leia had snuck into her luggage. She chewed her lip as she weighed in her mind what to do. She could choose to stay the same...keep her nightshirt and the current comfort...or she could choose again to shift. She knew Ben was waiting for her. Any change in the status quo was on her. He wouldn’t move without a signal from her. 

When she thought about it, it felt big and weighty. But when she thought about Ben...his care for her, gentle touches...and those kisses in the sea. Stars...the tightening it brought to chest made breathing hard still. If kissing did that, what would the rest of it be like? Her fingers ghosted her lips, then reached out for the change.

Shift.

Brave.

She surveyed herself in the mirror before stepping out. Her eyes were too bright, her cheeks were flushed, and her hair was falling around her in soft waves. The nightgown was backless and had a lot of sheer spots, just covering up here and there with a bit of lace. A little finger of panic raised up, but she resolutely shoved it back down. She wanted this...wanted him. With purpose, she took a deep breath and opened the door.

Ben was laying there, reading. He didn’t look up immediately and he was slightly turned the other way leaning into the light from the lamp on his nightstand. She slowly walked around to his side of the bed. When she was right next to him, he finally looked up. 

He did a double take. 

The book dropped. 

He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He drank in the sight of her. His arms reached out brought her forward, resting his forehead against her stomach. She wrapped her arms around his head and dug her fingers into his hair.

He pulled her back and looked up, holding her face in his hands. His warm eyes were searching hers, so filled with longing and hope….with hunger nipping hopefully at the surface, afraid to be denied.

“Are you sure?”

She let her hands glide across his chest to his neck. She pulled his head up to her, and right before their lips touched, she breathed, “Yes.”

As the kiss deepened and her hands slipped into his hair again. She felt dizzy at the feelings his kiss was bringing out and the sweet, spicy smell of him. Without breaking their kiss, he gently pulled her down to sit on his lap. She wrapped her legs around him, holding him with all of her limbs, warmth spreading all over her body.

When they pulled back for air, she looked up at his face, gently touching the smattering of beauty marks and moles on his face. Holding his face on either side, she tried to kiss them all. 

He softly smiled as he ran his hand across her bare back and down her torso, marveling at the sensation of her there and willingly seeking this out….him out. She was so beautiful.

One of the straps slipped off her shoulder, and he took the opportunity to press his lips on her shoulder and the curve of her neck, drinking in her scent and his lips caressed her soft skin. Her eyes fluttered as his lips claimed hers again...opening in intensity and passion, the glimpse of what was to come.

________________________________

Later, as she laid clinging to his side, she traced lazy circles in his abdomen.

He nudged her with his arm wrapped around her. “Are you OK Sweetheart?” He had heard that the first time could be painful, and he shuddered to think he would be the cause of pain for her.

“A little bit at first, but you made me forget it quickly. She looked up at him, chin on his chest and heart in her eyes. “How have we lived this long and never done that?!?!

Ben still felt breathless... boneless...weightless...never had he felt anything even close. He pulled her closer to his side, and pushed his lips into her hair, breathing her in. “I have no idea.”


	11. Rebirth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrapping up the honeymoon...love them...

Ben stirred in the morning light with the sensation of something tickling his nose. He wiped his hand down his face and felt strands of hair that weren’t his. He curled his other arm curled towards him, dragging a weight with it. He felt skin. As he cracked open an eye, he saw her curled up on his arm, her back to him. A lot of skin. The memory of the night before flooded back into his mind, and the realization hit that his very naked wife was nuzzled up next to him, softly snoring. He turned on his side and wrapped his free arm across her waist. She started to stir and rolled over onto her back.

He watched her face as she was slowly starting to come back to consciousness. He brushed the hair out of her eyes and relished being able to watch her. He didn’t think his feelings could have been any stronger for her...but he was wrong. Like getting to the end of a map and finding that there are uncharted, infinite galaxies beyond...every day his heart found new ways to discover her...love her. And if last night was any indication, she was at least moving that direction.

He couldn’t believe she came to him like that. Freely….willingly. He had not allowed himself to hope or estimate when she would. But she had. She had and his life pivoted in a way that it would never be the same. And their force bond just buzzed at their connection. Every sensation was heightened and encouraged by the connection it brought them. It turned out that their bond was quite an effective helper for two people with no experience. He had nothing to compare it to, but from what he’d heard around the space station, he was pretty sure what they experienced was beyond the normal level out there.

He had never felt the light of the force to flow so freely around him. He thought back and realized it had been trickling in, like a slow leak that was almost unnoticeable. It started when Snoke died, but it had been a slow cleansing process since. But the last couple of weeks with Rey...culminating in last night, had been drawing more light and holding his dark in balance. The dark wasn’t gone, but it didn’t reign either. The light floated in waves around them, luminous and warm. It wasn’t just her doing it….but his own heart and mind shedding the influence of the dark side and embracing the light. He had been choosing it, drawing toward it and therefore also towards Rey.

He also realized that he really didn’t have a desire anymore to lead or have power. It was fleeing his soul like sand leaving an hourglass. He wanted to see the transition through, to ensure peace, but beyond that, he would be done. What was next after that, he would find together with her, but for now, he had purpose.

She stirred more, shifting and stretching in his arms. He leaned forward and brushed her lips with his, soaking in the skin against skin sensations sending electric shocks all over his body. 

“Good morning, Wife.”

Eyes still closed, she smirked and said, “Good morning, husband.”

“What do you want to do today?”

“Mmmm...eat?”

“Of course…”

“Maybe swim?”

“Yes...”

“Actually, could we just have a do-over of yesterday? That was pretty perfect.”

He nuzzled her cheek with his nose and lips in agreement.

“Except...maybe a bath?” she suggested.

“You did that yesterday.”

She nuzzled him back. “With you?”

He stopped and stifled a groan. “I think we could work that in.”

“I almost asked you yesterday.”

His eyes met hers. “Really?” The greens and golds in her eyes sparkled like fire in the soft morning light.

“Really. On the way back from the beach, I realized most of my fear was not wanting to open up and get left again.”

“Rey, now that you have me, I am never leaving. I couldn’t. I’d have to carve half of my heart out of my body to be apart from you.”

He started peppering her face and neck with warm kisses as he maneuvered his large body over hers for full body contact.

“Just one request though?”

She was finding it hard to find her voice with the attention his lips were giving combined with his warm body touching her everywhere. “What’s that…”

“Can we reverse the order of the day?” he whispered in her ear, sending tentacles of shivers down her spine.

______________________________________________

By the time they got to breakfast, it was late and Rey thought her stomach was starting to digest her spine. She asked him to help her learn how to make the eggs today. She carefully cracked them over the bowl the way she had seen him do. A few shells got in there, but he showed her how to use the larger piece of the shell like a magnet to get them out. He was right behind her, in just his boxer briefs, arms wrapped around her waist, nestling her neck as he gave her instructions right in her ear. 

She whimpered, “Ben…”

“What?” he asked in feigned innocence.

“I can’t concentrate. You’re going to make me spill them.”

“I’ll buy more.”

“That is wasteful.”

“No...it’s just economics of what we’d waste. In my estimation, we’ve wasted lots of time not being together...that’s worth a few eggs.”

She turned around and wound her hands up in his hair. In a low suggestive voice, she said, “If we don’t eat, we won’t have the strength to do other things.”

“Fine. Finish the eggs.”

She laughed out loud with a little snort and playfully smacked his rear before she turned to start whisking them again.

Finally, she was successful with breakfast and they ate.

“When are you going to let me see your painting?”

“When it’s done.”

He grunted in disappointment. “But I could help you…” he whined.

She snorted again, another new development Ben realized. “You mean like you ‘helped’ with breakfast?”

“Hey...I did...we ate…”

“I think I created a monster.”

“Yes I am. I guess you traded one kind of monster for another. Hopefully, this one is preferable?”

She purposefully laid her hand on that spot on his thigh. “Quite.”

_____________________________________________________

After breakfast, Rey went back to her painting. She let him sit on the porch, but where he couldn’t see. She sat there in a sleeveless tunic, working, but not in as deep of concentration as yesterday. She wanted to talk.

“Ben...how are you doing?”

A huge grin broke across my face. “How am I doing? Do you really need to ask?”

One eyebrow shot up and she couldn’t stop a smirk. “I didn’t mean that...I meant...I just keep wondering what it’s like now for you...with Snoke gone.”

“Oh.” His face got serious. “I see. It’s really hard to explain. You can’t tell?”

“I think so. I mean, you were kind to me and had feelings for me before he died. And...I’ve been trying not to pry in your mind...I don’t feel like I should.”

“Sweetheart...I feel like we are two halves of the same soul now. I don’t have anything to hide from you. I think words would fail me anyways. Just look.”

Her movements stopped and she allowed her mind to slip into his. It was an open expanse. There were no walls where there had been bondage before. Whichever direction she looked, it was endless. It was warm. There were valleys of shadows, but the light balanced it and wove throughout. Where there used to be fortresses of darkness dominating the landscape, there was just a sunset-like illumination with pools of dark. Where it had once been oppressive with light trapped in hidden passages...that influence was gone. She withdrew and sighed.

“When did it happen?” She stayed in her seat with her head down, blinking back tears.

“It’s been slowly happening since I killed him. His death broke the chains, but the influence of light has been trickling in slowly, surely. At first, I didn’t know what to think or how to feel without him pulling the strings. I felt the absence. I didn’t know how to move, so I was in a holding pattern.”

“What changed?”

He thought back. “When I got the message about the meeting that Leia...Mother wanted, I was at a place where I was trying to figure out what was next. I think the agreement brought the impetus I needed to change course. I needed a compass direction, and this gave it to me.”

Quietly she said, “Was it because of me?”

He exhaled as he searched for how to answer. "I guess if Snoke dying started all of this, in a sense it was because of you. I killed him to protect you. Initially, I wasn’t choosing light because of you, just him and his influence being gone removed the blinders that I had. After all of this time and all that I’ve been through, it couldn’t just be choosing the light for you, but you have been an influence...the biggest influence...calling me back to it. Once he was gone, I found myself drawn to the light. But initially, it was for me. Once I started that transition, I found that the closer I drew to the light the closer I got to you. I think for the sake of my soul, I couldn’t choose it for you...I couldn’t put all that on you. But you are a part of my story. A big part...the hero really.”

He wasn’t sure how his words would resonate with her, so he waited. She sighed and stood, wiping her eyes as she slowly made her way to him. She curled up in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I didn’t know how to feel...I wanted to help you, but I knew you had to find it for you. I couldn’t bear that responsibility. Thank you for telling me. I knew there was hope for you.” Her face was buried in his shoulder.

He held her tight, feeling like he could never get close enough to her and like his heart would burst. “Thank you for refusing to give up on me and for risking...everything. I love you, Rey. I love you so much.”

She drew back to look him in the eyes, meeting them with hers full of unshed emotion. “I think I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone to say those words to me.” She leaned forward, touching her forehead to his chin, her hands stealing into his hair, and whispered, “I love you too, Ben Solo. You are my home.”

They stayed that way for a long time, locked in their embrace with the force humming around and through them. Finally, she leaned back and looked up. 

“I want to show it to you now.”

She stood up and grabbed his hand, leading him to her easel. His eyes fell to it from her face. They widened in awe.

She had captured the beauty of the sea, but it was somehow so much more. It was infused with light. The light sparkling off the water like diamonds, and the intricate colors of the sunset. It was breathtaking.

“Do you like it?” she asked uncertainly.

“Rey...it is incredible. How did you DO that?”

She shrugged sheepishly.

“It just comes to me. I have always had visions and pictures in my mind. I just try to let them out. I’ve tried to paint the ocean before, but this time it was different after seeing it.”

“It is a gift...I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like the force has infiltrated it.”

“I think looking back, this is when I felt the force the most before it awakened in me on Takodona. When I let those images in my mind out, I felt something special.”

He took her in his arms and held her close. “I feel like every day there is something new I learn about you...a surprise to be explored. Life is ever going to be boring with you, is it?”

It was quite a feeling, having a heart beating so close to hers that was so in tune, so comparable. It’s one thing to understand each other, but to love each other in tune with the will of the force...it was beyond explanation. 

She leaned back, moving from his embrace. She grabbed the ties of his belt and started pulling on them, walking backward back into the house.

“I think I’m ready for that bath now, Mr. Solo….”  
_______________________________

 

Later that day they were relaxing on the outdoor couch on the porch. She was nestled in his side while he traced lazy circles in her arms. The afternoon sun was golden as was the silence. For two creatures who were used to being lonely, the quiet companionship was comforting. But, Rey broke it.

“Ben...I think I know what I want to do special...with the credits.”

His fingers kept up their caresses, but he turned his face to her to encourage her to continue.

“Well, really I’ve been thinking about two things. First, I keep thinking about orphans like me. Kids who have been left alone, whether by choice or by tragedy. I want to do something.”

“Do you mean like sponsor an orphanage?”

She rubbed his arm across her chest. “Maybe. But, then I also keep thinking about force-sensitive kids out there, and I’d like to provide an option to train and learn about their gift without ripping them away from their families.”

“Who would train them?”

“Well….me….and I was hoping you?”

Rey watched as fear passed over his eyes. “I am hardly in a position to train younglings. I’m no Jedi...I would corrupt them.”

“No...you wouldn’t.” She held up a hand to halt his further protest. “Just please hear me out. Remember the other day we talking about the weakness of the Jedi order that left people out cold or to the siths? What if we provided another option. What if we take what we know of the light, and what you know of the dark, and teach them how to choose a better way...a balanced way. Like you are now. We could teach them how to manage their feelings and to not fear attachments. How to use the force in real life for good, but helping them know how to handle the darkness in them too. And, let their families stay with them so they can do it all without giving bitterness and abandonment a foothold? And, it could just be for seasons of training. They could have time to go back home too and practice what they learn in the real world.”

He was quiet, pondering her words. Finally, he murmured, “It’s an interesting idea. I’m not saying no...but I’m not saying yes. I want to think about it.”

“That is fair...we’d have to be sure about it...together. For it to work, we would have to be in sync and in balance.”

“And, where would we do such a school?”

“Well...I was thinking about the base the Resistance has been using...in the hills near the lake...by our home.”

Ben’s face dawned with realization, “THAT’S where the Resistance has been hiding? In that old base? Right there?”

She laughed and nodded. “It’s large and in good shape, with all kinds of facilities we would need, and there are many apartment suites where families could stay. If we needed more, we could always build, but it should work as is for a few years. And it’s close to home.”

Home. The thought of home...of his home...a home with Rey was enough to take his breath away. Part of his mind had compartmentalized their time here...holding it as it was fragile and fleeting...but it’s not. They are going home together.

What would it be like, having something that trained children and people in the ways of the force...together. How would that work? Could he? Would he even be safe to do so and not be tempted by the dark? Or is he free of that now? Could he really help others that were like him, vulnerable and feeling alone?

His warm eyes were on her face, brushing her hair off her forehead. “I think that you are the most beautiful….kind-hearted….lovely person in the universe.” At each pause, he pressed a kiss to her temple. She nuzzled his face in response. “I think it’s a very interesting idea...let me think on it a bit more...ok? Give me time?”

She nodded, heart in her eyes as she looked up at him. 

“Now, Mrs. Solo...I was thinking that we could go swimming again after dinner.”

“After dinner? But it will be dark.”

He nodded mischievously. “Do you know what is good about swimming when it’s dark?”

She slowly shook her head side to side in confusion.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “You don’t need swimsuits.”

______________________________

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” Rey stood on the sand clutching her towel to her chest.

“Sweetheart no one is here. There is no one to see us. I promise you will like it.”

He stepped back a few feet and dropped his towel. He stood there for a minute, eyes dark and magnetic, pulling her into their depths before he smirked and turned to walk slowly to the water. Her eyes took in his form, glistening bare in the silver moonlight. Stars he was beautiful. She would never tire of looking at him.

She chewed her lip, thinking over all the things that were so new and foreign to her. Being married, doing things she had never done, finding companionship with this man who had stolen her heart. This felt like just another step in becoming someone she hardly recognized. She would have never swum at all, let alone naked in public! Yet, there was something tempting about it as well. Something daring and exciting, and she liked those feelings. They made her feel alive. They were the same ones that finally brought her intimacy with Ben last night, and she had not regretted that decision. No, that was quite a good daring decision.

She took a deep breath and dropped the towel. The night was warm, but she felt the cool breeze across her skin. Her breath caught at the new sensation. She slowly walked into the water. She was surprised at how comfortable the temperature was, even at night. As the water lapped over her flesh, she relished in the sense of freedom she felt. She swam over to where Ben was. And he grasped her hands. It was a heady sensation, to float in the starlight with tendrils of water caressing her body, looking into the mesmerizing depths of his eyes. It was magical. He drew her to him, embracing her fully and placing a soft kiss on her lips, slowly deepening it and drawing her closer. 

She broke away and gasped, “I thought you wanted to swim.”

He sought her lips again. “We can do that too. But my wife is naked with me in the moonlight. Surely you wouldn’t want to let that go to waste.”

___________________________

Her body thumped hard on the ground. The hard ground. The hot ground. The sandy ground. She was stunned and had the shake herself to regain awareness. She sun was shining hot and blinding in her eyes and she couldn’t see the spots it created in her vision. Instinctively, she crawled backward. Terror was gripping at her throat.

She stood up and ran, but it was short-lived. A high cliff rose above her head, turning her escape into a dead end. She saw a figure moving towards her. It was faceless, but she knew it. She had held it off many times before, but she sensed this time...this time she was trapped. She tried in vain to find a foothold to crawl up, but there was none and her limbs were useless. 

Suddenly the hands were on her shoulders, crawling around to her neck and chest. She cried out, but no sound came. No one was coming. No one would help her. She was alone.

____________________________

Ben had stirred, sensing her unrest. He made out her pained countenance from the moonlight spilling through the windows. Her hands clawed in the air at a faceless foe. Her whimpers tore at his heart. He could taste her fear through their connection.

He didn’t want to startle her, but he wanted to draw her out of her terror. He started to call her name softly, but she sat up suddenly, gasping as if her lungs couldn’t gather enough air and convulsing. Her eyes were wild and full of panic. She didn’t see him...couldn’t see him.

“Rey...Sweetheart..I’m right here. You are OK.” He spoke the words with his mouth and directly into her mind.

She turned to look at him, not registering recognition. He instinctively knew not to reach out. He just kept speaking to her through the mind.

You are safe

You are not alone

It wasn’t real

I love you

Finally, her eyelids sunk down and the tension left her body. She slumped forward, curling into herself. He knew it was time then. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her onto his lap and murmuring words of comfort into her hair. She clung to him, shudders still coursing through her body. One arm held her snugly against his chest while his other used it’s hand to caress her head and shoulders, willing peace into her mind as he rocked her.

After what seemed like a long time, she stilled. He sensed she was close to sleep again. He gently leaned back, not releasing her, and laid down with her still curled up on his chest. As her breathing evened out, a still and dreamless sleep overtook her.

Ben, on the other hand, could not find rest again. His heart was hammering in his chest, wondering what had happened. She had not had any nightmares since they had been sleeping together. What had brought this on? Had he done something that made her feel vulnerable? What could it have been? 

As he thought back over the day, the only uncomfortability he recalled was after dinner...the night swim? He had pushed and prodded her into it. Was that too much? He berated himself in his mind. Since they had been intimate, he lost the gentleness with her he lived by before. In his exuberance, he forgot to let her lead and not push her to something she wasn’t ready for. This was on him. And so he did not sleep but kept watch over her instead until morning.  
____________________________

She awoke to the sensation of the top half of her body resting on Ben’s chest. One leg was wrapped around his, while the other was flung out behind her. Her temples throbbed. As sleep faded and her consciousness bloomed, the events of the night came back to her. She remembered the claustrophobia and helplessness of her dream. It has been so long since her dreams were filled with terror, is stuck out stark and sharp in her mind. 

As she stirred, she felt Ben’s arms tighten around her.

“Rey.” His voice sounded tight and hoarse.

“Mmmm hmmm?”

“Do you remember?”

She pressed her face to his chest and nodded.

“I’m sorry.” He held her tighter still.

Her head snapped up and she sought his eyes. “Why are you sorry? It isn’t your fault!

He sighed. “I think it is.”

He continued, reaching up a hand to wipe away her furrowed brow.

“I have been trying to be so careful with you and let you lead. But last night...I pushed you...pushed you to swim that way and it made you feel vulnerable. I was thinking more about what I wanted than what you wanted. I’m sorry.”

She considered his words. There was some truth to what he was saying, but she also enjoyed that time once she got past her apprehension. It pained her that what wound up being a time of pleasure was tainted by her past.

He could hear her self-talk, unable to keep himself from the bond in his need to know she was OK. 

She sighed. “My husband goading me to do something we both enjoyed shouldn’t lead to terror. I wonder if I will even not feel broken. It feels unfair.”

He leaned up and kissed her forehead before dropping his head back to the pillow. “My Love, we both came into this broken. We are going to feel the tremors of that for years to come, but I think slowly they will still and better things will fill their cracks. We will help each other through it. We’re in this together.”

She bit her lip as she continued to reflect on the day before. “You know, we were also talking about the orphans and helping force sensitive kids not feel abandoned--it could have just as easily been that discussion that brought it on...or maybe all of it together. I don’t want to go back to you holding back. I like how things are with us, Ben. Please don’t draw away from me. Please don’t ask me to always be the instigator.”

“I just want you to feel safe.”

She snuggled tighter into his chest. “I do...with you.”

A wave of feeling tired washed over her. Even after just waking up, the emotional weariness of the night and the conversation beckoned her to sink back into slumber.

Ben too.

__________________________________________

The days started to pass quickly. Too quickly Ben had never been so relaxed and happy. He was dreading leaving the utopian nest he and Rey had created where the only parts of the universe that existed were each other. The lazy days of endless conversations, laughter, and love were languishing. He was apprehensive about returning to the life he left behind. Except, that isn’t really the life he was returning to. It was the unknown that brought anxiety to his mind.

What if he was different because of this time away? What if things change when he’s back? Will the dark call to him again? Was it all Snoke?

She came up behind him on the couch where he was lost in his thoughts. She sensed his worry through the bond and in her shoulders and she snaked her hands across them, hugging him from behind.

“Ben...what is it?”

He considered brushing off her concern but knew it was futile with her. He started trying to explain his thoughts as his arms held her tight.

“I just never want to leave. Can’t we just stay here forever?”

She snickered close to the shell of his ear, sparking tingling fingers down his neck. In response, he flipped her over the back of the couch and onto his lap. She gasped in surprise, then recovered as she dug her fingers into his hair. She liked oh-so-many of her husband's features...but his soft raven hair was a contender for first place. And his lips...and his eyes...and his chest….

“I don’t want to leave either.”

He sighed...partly because of frustration over the end of their honeymoon, and partly as a release for the feelings coursing through him at the feel of her fingers in her hair and her loud thoughts about other parts of him she appreciated. He was toying with returning the favor, remunerating his long list about her, but her words interrupted him.

“Are you worried? About going back?”

“There are many things to be done, and many negotiations to take place. I am just not sure how it all will go. I would like to get things settled, but then again I don’t want to take the time away from you that it will take to make it all happen. I feel selfish with my time now. I only want it filled with you.”

She smiled, but chided him, “That sounds nice, though not very practical.”

He sighed again, rubbing her back. “I know...I guess we need to save the universe first.”

Still grinning, she leaned forward to catch his lips with hers, murmuring against them, “If we must.”

She sensed the tension still in him. She drew her head back and looked him in the eyes.

“Ben...what is really bothering you.”

He brought his hand to his face and rubbed his eyes. “I’m scared.”

“Scared...of what? What is making you like this?”

He started, then stopped, then started again. “What if I’ve just been different because I’m away from everything and here with you? What if when we go back, the dark calls to me again?”

She reached up and smoothed his creased forehead with her fingertips. “I can assure you, it will call you again. But I’ve seen into your soul, Ben. I have seen what you rebuilt. The dark and the light call...and you will hold them in balance, relying on the other when needed to pull back from the extreme of either, just as you are now. You are you...and you choose who you are. Not Snoke…”

She kissed his left temple.

“...Vader…”

She kissed the right side.

“...your family…”

She kissed his nose.

“...the dark side...”

She kissed his forehead and pulled back to look him in the eye again, her heart melting at the unshed tears shimmering there.

“...or me. You are Ben Organa-Solo.. You can be the supreme leader or you can be a hermit. You decide. And no matter what, you will never be alone. Not anymore.”


	12. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, loves! Sorry about the flurry of updates, but my grad program starts up tomorrow and I wanted to get it all in before that! I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Maybe I will revisit it again and pick up where I left off someday!

They have a few more days at the sea. They loathe to give up the time consumed by each other, but they are also starting to feel ready for what is next. Ben turns the corner by focusing on his surprise waiting for Rey and to work with Hux to bring the needed changes to the First Order and the galaxy. The faster he works, the faster he will be free.

The last full day dawns. They will leave the next morning for House Naberrie. Rey wants to go back to the market, and she said she has a surprise for him later.

“Can’t we just stay at the house naked all day?”

She smiles up at him, her arm and leg flung across his body as they languidly take their time getting out of bed.

“Didn’t we do that a few days ago?”

“That doesn’t mean anything...just because we did it once doesn’t mean we shouldn’t again. It wasn’t a one-time-only thing. Besides, when we get home, there will be people around all the time. It won’t just be us.”

“Other people? Who?”

He lazily rubbed her collarbone and tried not to be obvious that he was slowly edging her nightshirt off.

“Well - the house staff, sometimes Hux, I’m sure your friends at times, and Mother. There will be plans to be made...it won’t just be us.” He slipped the white cotton over the curve of her shoulder.

“Ben, I know what you are trying to do.” The collar of her shirt is now halfway down her bicep.

“Just think of it, Sweetheart. Naked breakfast…”

He moved his hand to the buttons on the front of her nightclothes and slowly undid the first, ghosting newly exposed skin with his lips.”

“...naked reading…”

One more button...more nuzzling…

“...naked painting…”

One more...just two buttons remain.

“So...basically all the things would be naked?”

His lips are hovering over her belly button now.

“Yes...all the things...”

“Swimming?”

The last button is undone. “Oh...most definitely swimming...later…”

“If I say yes, then we can stop by the market tomorrow? On our way out of town?”

That was her last coherent thought for a while. She thinks he agreed, but now she really doesn’t care….

____________________________________________

Later that night, they were huddled on the couch, under a blanket, watching the fire as they talked about the next few weeks and their plans. 

“We have that ball, on Coruscant, in two weeks. Next week the designer will come to work with you for your gown.”

“A designer? Why?”

“In my current role, my wife can’t exactly show up to an event celebrating our nuptials in a dress from a store. It is expected that you will wear something original. There is a selection of jewels you can choose from as well.”

“Jewels? What for?” Her eyes darted to her wedding ring. “I don’t need anything but this.”

He grabbed her hand and kissed her finger right above the ring. “This is the best, of course, but I hear the other pieces are fun for a dress-up occasion.”

“Will we have to do that much? Dress-up, I mean?”

“I hope not...but at first there might be a bit more of that. Hopefully not for long. I prefer you like this.”

“Naked?” she teased.

He rolled his eyes. “Yes...but not just. I fell in love with the scavenger in rags, so I really don’t care about all of that, but you looked so lovely at our wedding. It’s fun to see you dressed up too. As long as everyone sees that ring and knows that the most beautiful girl at the ball is taken.”

“Will there be dancing? I don’t know how to dance.”

“See, that is where marrying a prince helps...I will teach you.”

Suddenly, her eyes widened and she remembered something. She gathered up her blanket and jumped up to run down the hall, shouting, “I’ll be right back!”

She rushed back in the room with the smirk of one that has a secret. She knelt in front of him and took his hand.

“Ben...I...I got something for you.”

His eyes were wide and questioning. She pulled her other hand out of the blanket and moved it in front of his left hand. She slipped something cool and smooth on his finger.

He tore his eyes away from hers to look down. She had placed a black ring on his finger...the same finger that she wore her wedding ring on.

“You got me a ring?”

She just nodded, her heart in her eyes.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to. Because you are mine.”

His hands reached out to pull her face to his...his lips claiming hers softly and reverently. He kept pulling her forward, forcing her to climb on his lap.

He pulled back and rubbed her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. “I love it. I love that we both have one and that everyone will know that we belong to each other. Thank you.”

She suddenly smiled, mirth spilling across her face. “Besides, all the ladies need to know the hot new Supreme leader is taken.” She threw the blanket off her shoulders and she moved closer. “Really...really taken.” 

__________________________________________

On the morning of their departure, they agreed that they will return to celebrate their anniversary each year. Ben did take her to the market on the way out of town to get some treats and trinkets to take home. She wanted some seashells to take home. They found all that and more, even getting a lamp with shells and sea creatures in bronze and a glass sculpture of the waves come in to shore that was the exact color of the bay.

Rey fell asleep on the way home again (Ben decided that speeder rides must just lull her to sleep) and soon he was waking her up with a gentle kiss after landing behind Naberrie. He jumped out and moved to go pick her up again to carry her inside, thinking about how similar of an action that was to two weeks ago, and yet how much had changed.

He set her down in the large foyer, where he had first seen her coming down the stairs to the negotiations three weeks ago. 

“Welcome home, Mrs. Solo.”

Her eyes shone with unshed tears and she buried her face in his chest as her arms clung to him. “I’ve been waiting a long time to have a home.”

He wrapped his arms tightly around her. “Me too, sweetheart...me too.”

An older man with silver hair and kind eyes cleared his throat before slowly making his way over to them. “Hello, my Lord and my Lady. I am Clarence. I oversee the estate and the staff. I hope your journey was pleasant. Shall I show you to your rooms?”

Rey stuck out her hand to shake his. Clarence paused, but then quickly met her grasp. “Please call me Rey, Clarence.”

He smiled warmly. Rey liked him instantly. Ben silently praised him for not calling attention to Rey’s lack of knowledge about protocol with house staff. He brushed the edges of his mind and saw faithfulness, protectiveness, and delight with Rey. He decided Clarence would be a good fit for them, especially if and when Ben had to be gone.

Halfway up the stairs, Clarence suddenly turned and met Ben’s surprised look. “Lord Solo, I almost forgot, that matter you asked after was taken care of. I trust you will find it to your satisfaction.” Ben’s faced registered relief, and he thanked the man quickly before they continued.

He led them up the stairs to the master suite. Rey realized it was next door to the room where she had stayed before. It was similar in colors inside but had two walls of windows since it was on the corner of the house, and the large balcony wrapped around both sides. The view was even more stunning than she had before. The lake and the waterfalls were there, but there was also a view of the purple foothills.

“I can’t believe we are going to live here” she whispered, breathless.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind and murmured, “I can’t believe I get to live with you…”

She spun around in his arms and put her hand on his chest. “I meant that too...here with you…”

He just smiled and took her hand. “I’m teasing you. C’mon...I have a surprise for you.”

As he pulled her back through the room, she noticed that the large canopy bed was set against the mountain view windows, so the lakeside was visible while lying there. There were a sitting area and a bookshelf in the corner next to the fireplace. 

He motioned to the wall above it, “I thought that would be a good spot for your painting. That way when we lay in bed, we can remember our honeymoon.“

She saw the door to the light-filled fresher, but she’d have to come back to that later because Ben was quickly pulling her back into the hallway.

He surprised her by just going next door to her old room. He asked her to close her eyes, and then she heard the click of the door open and he pulled her inside. She felt his breath on the side of her face and nearly felt the rumble of his voice there too when he whispered, “Open your eyes, Sweetheart.”

She did, and in shock took in the transformation in the room. The bed was gone. In one corner of the room near the door was a couch and a chair with some small tables, but in the other corner, right by the windows, was a large easel. Shelves lined the walls on that side of the room, and they were full with canvases, paints, brushes, pencils, and many things she wasn’t even sure of. The carpet was gone in that section of the room, and in its place was a floor of some type of stone that was smooth and solid. 

“You...you made me a painting room? This is for me?”

His eyes twinkled, catching the light from outside as he gazed at her awestruck face.

“This is for you, Rey. You have a gift, and I wanted you to have somewhere special to use it.” He pulled her hand and showed her outside, that her favorite lounge was still there on one side, and on the other side was another easel. He explained that the cart in the corner inside was a portable work table, that could be rolled inside or outside, depending on where she wanted to paint. He took her in the fresher, and she saw that one of the sinks had been replaced with a large steel basin that was deep and perfect for rinsing out paint brushes.

She was overcome with the gift that is was to her, and she didn’t have words. Of course, he could feel her pleasure over it through the bond, She walked back over to him and yanked him down to meet her lips. She kissed him as soundly and deeply as she could, trying to communicate with her lips what her words failed to do.

When she finally pulled away, he breathlessly said, “I take it you like it?”

“I could never have imagined anything like it. It is just the most special thing...how did you do this?”

“I had some help back here to work on it. Mother and Clarence mostly.” He paused and just stared. “I wish I could show you the utter joy that is on your face when you see something you love like this. It’s how you looked when you saw the sea for the first time, and when you look at the lake….”

She fixed her gaze on his, and asked with her voice filled with emotion, “And now, Ben...do you see it now?”

He raised his hands to caress her cheeks. “I do. Ahhh….I do.”


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little glimpse back into domestic life with our favorite couple!

The breeze from the lake gently rustled the curtains before wafting over to nudge up against their skin where they laid. Her head was nestled on his shoulder with his arm wrapped around her back as he pulled her close. 

He was recounting his day to her as he traced lazily up and down her arm. With his mother’s help, they were working to forge a new universe democracy structure, and he and Hux were working on the army and other ventures for the former First Order troops. There was a lot of work to be done, but it had begun.

Rey had been getting things settled in their home and had spent a great deal of time in her studio. He pitched the idea to her to plan a benefit event to raise money to build an Outer Rim orphanage. The event where she would also auction off some of her paintings was just two months away. She threw herself into her art for this purpose. The wife of galactic royalty could produce pieces that got instant attention, and that attention could mean substantial support for the orphanage.

In spite of the work they were both doing, they drew the line at no evenings apart and protected the time with each other. Many a night they spent on the balcony wrapped in each other's arms sharing whispered confidences or going for a moonlight swim. He even found a cove closer to the waterfalls that was hidden and Rey didn't feel quite so selfish when they indulged in their favorite swim apparel...or lack thereof...

“Which piece were you working on today, Sweetheart?”

“I worked more on that series from the sea. I also had got an idea for one depicting children from different species. I’m still working that out in my head. I don’t know if it will be ready in time for the gala, but I’m excited about it.”

Ben grew quiet as he kept stroking her arm. 

“We haven’t really talked about...I mean, I know it’s possible...but we haven’t discussed what we want….”

With intimate ease, she surveyed his thoughts to see what he was trying to say but was having difficulty with. When the topic became clear, it caught her breath.

“Oh. Well, when I joined the Resistance, I got an implant.”

“You did? Why... what...I mean...”

She sensed something dark flitted across his mind. Anger? Jealousy? It struck her it was odd this hadn't come up yet. She assumed he knew.

“What are you thinking, love? Why is that bothering you?”

He exhaled and finally spit it out. “Why did you want one? Was there someone there you were interested in that made you think you needed it?”

Understanding washed over her. “You ARE jealous.”

He didn’t respond, but his thoughts swirled darker.

She turned to rest her chin on his chest and face him, almost laying fully on top of him.

“Ben...look at me.”

His eyes were dark with a pained look, but he complied.

“Leia didn’t want any surprises or added responsibilities during a time of war. She required that all Resistance members get one, whether they wanted it or not.”

His eyes sunk closed, and his breath exhaled again with more relief.

“And, furthermore...” she slid up closer to his face as she spoke, “...I have never, EVER wanted anyone like that. No one but you. I belonged to you before I met you.” She had reached out and was stroking his hair away from his face, gentle and soothing.

His voice was thick with emotion when he finally spoke. “I know you love me, but the thought that you might have done that with the intention to use it with someone else? I just couldn’t take that. I know that’s not fair, but that doesn’t stop those feelings from coming. What I felt...it’s just a reminder how close the dark can be for me.”

She continued to trickle her fingers through his hair. “It’s just as close as the light...which shows how far you have come that it rears up so seldom now.”

He nodded slowly as he considered her words, then his eyes softened, “So...how long do you think we should keep it?”

He caught her off guard. “You want to have kids?”

He reached up to softly caress her face. “With you...”

A new emotion stirred in Rey at the thought of being a mother. She hadn’t even entertained the idea so far. She knew it wasn’t possible, so she just hadn’t allowed her thoughts to go there. Now that they had, it felt like they were bathed in the golden light she knew emanated from the force. It felt almost...sacred to think about.

Her eyes got dreamy, “I haven’t really thought about it, but I do too. So much. But, not yet.”

His brows furrowed in confusion. “Why not yet?”

She laid her head down in the crook of his neck. “I wish it could be now, but I can’t help a protective instinct that says we need to make the universe a little safer first.”

She nuzzled his neck with her lips in a spot she knew was sensitive.

“Besides,” she drew her body fully on top of his, “I’m not ready to share you yet. I have a feeling you will be an amazing, doting father, and I want you to myself for just a bit longer.”

He rubbed his hands up and down her bare back exposed by her nightgown and slowly let out the breath he was holding. “I can support that decision, Mrs. Solo. Do you really think I will be...a good father, that is. ”

Her eyes carefully considered him. She thought of his own childhood where he was still trying to sort out the truth from the manipulation in his memories. She thought of Han and his deep love for him, yet his uncomfortability with being a dad. And, she thought of the transformation Ben had been going through the last few months. Without hesitation, she looked him in the eye and said, “with all my heart.” 

He gently drew her head up until she could look in his eyes, the moonlight sparkling off of them. The love radiating from him was so strong, she felt the force sing.

“I think every day you are more and more beautiful. When I think about you being a mother...I can’t help but wonder how much more that will be true. I cannot wait for that.”

Her eyes grew moist. “How many...how many should we have?”

“At least two...maybe four? I like even numbers.”

“What do you think they will look like?”

“They’ll have your freckles…”

“...your hair...and eyes…”

“Not my ears. Or my feet. They are both huge.”

“I like your ears and your big strong feet. I mean, maybe not for a girl...”

“Your nose…” his voice caressed.

She giggled. “Definitely these lips…” she met them softly, “your lips. They will never be able to lie to us because their mouth will always give them away like yours does.”

"Really? And what is mine giving away right now?"

She answered him with a kiss, less chaste than the last, and he accepted that answer as true from her. He decided to think more about kids later, but right now his wife was in his arms in the moonlight. He didn’t know what tomorrow would bring. For tonight, though, in her arms, he was home...and that was all he needed."


End file.
